Friday, October 31, 2014

Phallic Friday - Moon Cups or Juju Cups

I have weird conversations - even in real life. So I thought I'd share one here.

The other week I'm having a (life saving) Bowen massage. I've been going to this lady for 6 years, so she knows me pretty well. Somehow, we get to discussing periods and I mention Moon Cups. She frowns and says, "What on earth are they?"

So I tell her and off she heads to Google and finds this English website:

I told her to also look up Juju because they were Australian:

Then we have a discussion about these wonders. I say I wish they'd been around when I was younger because they would have been a godsend. She's more skeptical.

She questions how you could use them before you lost your virginity. I say, 'the same as tampons,' as if it's quite obvious. But she's a bit older than me and when she was young, women weren't encouraged to use tampons. "How on earth did you swim?" I ask, horrified at the thought of not swimming for a week every month.

Juju Cups and their discrete bag (from

I was a swimmer, and for that reason, I never thought about not using tampons. I have a vague memory of Mum not being really happy that I was using them, but I didn't really think about it. Some girls I knew said, 'you just squat right down and shove it in,' and that's what I did. It was worth it so I could keep swimming. And I was no Olympic swimmer, it was just a hobby.

My sister bought a Juju Cup a while ago when we first heard about them. She swears by it and wishes she had it years ago. I'd love to have tried one but I figured I was too old to get my money's worth from it. I think that was wishful thinking on my part!!

Are you a Moon Cup or Juju Cup user?

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Wildlife Wednesday - a little fish

I live near the beach. Often there are fisherman, standing in the shore, patiently waiting for their line to rattle with the sound of a big fish swimming for its life. I've never seen any of them catch anything.

When Dad visits, he becomes one of these optimistic souls. I often join him because it's peaceful standing there on the beach, but I have no thought of catching anything. I'm there for the pleasure and peace.

Imagine my surprise when last week, I see a fish flapping on the sand as a wave drew out to sea. In amongst all the shells, was a flapping fish. On our beach! My scepticism was disavowed!

So here is a photo of the tiny thing :)

It's sitting in a pippi shell, which would be 5-6 cm you see how tiny this fish is!!

Dad said it's a 'hardy head', some common bait fish. And we get bait fish around because birds often swoop and dive for them.

So this is my wildlife for the week. If it hadn't have flapped just at the second I glanced down, I'd never have known there really are catchable fish at my beach :)

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Sunday Story - 30 November Kisses

It's almost November...a month where some men go on a binge to grow a moustache for Movember (you can read about Movember here).

Movember raises awareness and money for mental health research (men's) and prostate cancer research.

I have a few men in my family and friends who have/had mental health issues. So I like to especially think of them each November.

This year, I've self published a little story for the event - 30 November Kisses.

A couple of years ago, Rhyll Biest challenged me to write a flash fiction mo-ro. I had no idea what she wanted. Turned out it was a really short story about moustache romance. I started...and 30 days later, I had a full story!

So I tweaked and fiddled and learnt to self publish. And here it is, in time for November!

If you feel so obliged, you can donate the cost of the ebook toMovember or a mental health charity.

I hope you enjoy the story.

You can find 30 November Kisses at these places for your free reading fun:


Barnes & Noble:

Friday, October 24, 2014

Phallic Friday - sex toys and other thoughts

Since last week's We-Vibe 4 and remote access post, I've been thinking a lot about sex toys, their role in life, and their evolution.

Many years ago, I became a bit of a sex toy collector. I'd found a shop run by a woman for women, that was filled with information, toys and videos. I think she was some sort of sex therapist - but whatever she was, she was really open and honest about sex.

When I first visited her shop, in Kings Cross, Sydney, I wasn't sure what to expect (and now I can't remember why I went, but I went alone). I certainly didn't expect to have the discussions I had with this lady. She took me along a shelf of vibrators and explained the pros and cons of each model. I had no idea there was such a range! I saw vibrators that resembled a penis that were for vaginal stimulation only, but came in all sizes according to your preference. Then we moved to waterproof vibrators so you could use them in the shower/bath. G-spot vibes, specially bent to hit the right spot while pleasuring you. Then we moved to vibrators with clitoral stimulation (you probably know the old rabbit vibes). It was an education.

What shocked me most was that these vibrators were often etched with designs or images, which were often of men/kings/animals. That was a bit disconcerting. Do we need images on our vibrators? (it was needed to get around a technical legal restriction, I think). I'm pleased to see this isn't so anymore. The We-vibe doesn't have gimmicky images, nor is it shaped like a penis. What an evolution.

I own a few of the old fashioned vibes - because I couldn't decide and she was a good sales woman! Then we moved to other toys and she explained more, opening my mind to things I'd never contemplated before. It was extraordinary.

From then on, I wanted to be like this lady - unafraid of sex, sex toys and the things people do for pleasure.

My biggest foray into this world of unafraidness, was gifting a friend with a vibrator for Christmas. Don't worry, I warned her of what I was giving her. It's just she thought I was kidding. We went out for Christmas and for some reason I can't remember, we were doing the gift exchange at the party. I caught a quiet moment with her to give her my gift (it's in a box, so you can't tell what it is). She squeals, and goes to open it. I grab her hands and stare at her trying to convey my panic quietly. "You can't open it here." She's slow, really slow. She doesn't pick up on my words, clenched fingers or panicked breathing. By now a few friends have gathered around us.

She keeps trying to open it, and I'm crushing her hand saying "No. You can't." One of our good friends, a male, looks at me, frowns, looks at her, then at the box. He starts laughing. "Cate, did you buy her a vibrator?" I've no idea how he picked that of all gifts...but by crikey, his comment had her shoving the gift in her bag so quickly. He's now her husband and I often wonder about that gift!! :)

See, sex toys can give you a lot of pleasure... and they can even score you a husband!!

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Wildlife Wednesday - birds again

I'm late ... sorry!

Today I'm sharing a family visit with you.

My aunt and uncle came to stay recently. My aunt is a bird watcher and is quite serious about it. So I took her down to our beach and the river mouth for some bird spotting. I took along my bird book and binoculars - I've not done that since I was at uni! Usually it's just the little camera in my pocket.

So...we're down there and she's waiting for me to tell her what the birds are. I look at her in horror, "I don't know what they are. I thought you'd know." We knew the same birds - the obvious ones! The others, it was like the blind leading the blind.

She went home majorly disappointed in my lack of identification skills!! For some reason she thought I knew everything. Glory be! (It makes me wonder what Dad's been saying though!).

Anyway, we have a few extra maybes on my list of visiting birds...but I discovered that it's not easy for even the serious birdies to identify them - well, not the serious birdies in my family!! My aunt suggested I join the bird watchers group - but that would mean less writing time, so I can't do that. I'll just muddle along in my own way :)

I did think about telling her of this column...but then I remembered Fridays...and kept my mouth shut! LOL.

So, moral to the story - I've inherited my uselessness at identification :)

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Sunday Story - Memories of My Melancholy Whores

Image result for memories of my melancholy whoresLast week I said I'd got this book from the library. It's not big but it packs a punch! It's not too dissimilar to Love in the Time of Cholera, but I found it so much better - maybe because it's short and intense.

The opening line is this: "The year I turned ninety, I wanted to give myself the gift of a night of wild love with an adolescent virgin."
from: Memories of my Melancholy Whores by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

It's a story of a man who at 90 has never been in love, but has bedded hundreds of women. And then he falls in love with his adolescent virgin who he never speaks with, never has sex with, and never spends the day with.

And this is where I'm going to fall in a heap with my logic. In this book, I loved how the 90 year old man became teenage-like in his 'love' to the point of becoming insane. I loved his self-deprecating humour and the way he knew how silly he was being. But it wasn't just love that he tried for the first time, he also got a cat, sold precious items he never could have parted with before, and opened up a part of himself that he's kept firmly clamped all his life. He came to experience life and emotion, to value it.

In Love in the Time of Cholera, I found the guy pathetic and his love so obsessive that I couldn't believe it was truly love. I didn't find it fun or funny. Yet, the Whores I thought was fun and funny.

I wonder if that's because I was at a different point in my life when I read each? Or did I invest more into the longer book and so wanted more from it? Or has Marquez tweaked the story so that it suits me more in this one?

I think he's a gifted writer, but I wonder if he has ever known the purity of love. For me, animals show a purity of love but even with the cat, the old man never really loved it, he didn't understand it...maybe he would have been better with a dog.

I loved this book - maybe for its brevity!

In an aside, I checked out some reviews on Goodreads - it got a lot of 1 stars because of the content (an underage whore) and people's horror at the age difference.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Phallic Friday - remote vibrators

Oh, now this! This sets everything in me thinking. What a story this could make! Must do it.

You can read it here.

It's the We-vibe 4 with an iphone app that allows remote access. OMG! Can you imagine?

We looked at the We-Vibe back in February. You can refresh your memory of it by clicking here, which will take you to that post (it does have an image of it).

So, the remote access We-Vibe... imagine. You could be at a work meeting, and your partner could start the vibrator. How about driving? Sitting at the movies? How that would make extra intrigue in your day and relationship!!

In many Dom/sub relationships, the Dom asks the sub to do something sexual through the day that only they will know about (eg wear no underwear, carry Ben Wa balls, have phone sex in their office) and it adds such spice to the relationship. It builds trust, it excites both partners, it's arousal all day.

Now imagine that arousal becoming actual vibration? Imagine it becoming a full on sexual experience that you have little control over?

Do you think you could handle it? I think my heroine might be in for some fun!

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Wildlife Wednesday - African Wild Dog

The African Wild Dogs aren't my favourite zoo animal but I learned some things that made me respect them more than I have.

They work together, with a female leader, and they're all about endurance. They don't drag and kill, but run an animal to exhaustion before killing and feeding. They do this as a pack, with groups of members taking turns at the chase. How nifty is that?

Each dog has individual markings, even if they all look speckled to me :) The dominant female is the breeder of the group, and she chooses who she mates with. Pups are cared for by all, and adults will let the pups feed first on a kill, and will also regurgitate food for pups who remain in the den.

They have a dominance structure re feeding, where the weakest may miss out. At the zoo, they feed strategically so that on some days the pack feeds as a pack where the strongest get most/all of the feed. On a couple of days a week, food is thrown to individuals to ensure everyone receives some food. Kind of a nifty way to keep the pack alive!

When we slept over at the zoo, I'm sure I heard these guys howling in the night. They were kind of cool to hear, I went back to sleep smiling!

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Deep Diving made a list!

I had an email from a friend this morning saying, "Deep Diving is #6 in contemporary romance on Kobo...". Lisa's been my writing buddy for a long time, so I had no reason to doubt her... but #6? On a list? Was she serious?

So I went to see and sure enough, it wasn't an April Fool's joke. Here's the proof in case it goes away!

Why is it important?
I've seen people rave about making lists before and I didn't understand the significance of it.

It is significant.

By some strange quirk of fate, your book is liked by people and they're buying it (which I hope translates into reading and enjoying it). And that's important to me.

Sure I write for my own sanity and enjoyment, but it's the ultimate accolade for someone else to enjoy it too.

And Deep Diving is a book of my heart. It was written as a tribute to men who've been my heroes. Because they inspired the hero in this story, Cooper Sterling, I want readers to love him, respond well to him, and see him as a great hero. I want them to love my hero and see the great traits that I've admired in the real life men.

I want them to like Sam too because she has to be good enough for my hero. She has to be smart, fun, loveable, sporty and enough of a challenge to keep these men on their toes. She has to earn Cooper's love and keep it.

The only way I know if people love my book is if they tell me, or if it sells well, which must mean people like it or the sound of it.

I don't tell authors that I like their book unless I know them. I feel uncomfortable starting up a dialogue with a stranger. So I understand why readers don't let you know they like your story. Making a list is the closest thing to having a bunch of people say they liked your story. And that's why it's important to me.

THANK YOU Kobo readers, and all other readers too :) You've made my day!

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Sunday Story - erotic books in the library

Book Cover: The Penguin Book of Erotic Stories By WomenMany many years ago, I went to the library in search of a book a friend recommended. I looked up the catalogue and found that the book was "in stack". Having no idea what that meant, I had to ask. I was a bit scared about asking, given the title, but in a moment of bravery I went and did it anyway. The Marquis de Sade's Philosophy in the Bedroom was mine for the next fortnight...and the librarian blushed as she handed it to me (although I may have been redder than she was by then!).

Since then, I've bought most of my erotic reading - not only because of the embarrassment factor, but because the library held very little. It had 2 of deSade's books at the time, and I was hooked, so I needed more.

Anyway, moving to a smaller town meant even less chance of erotic books in the library, or bookshops. So out of town purchases became my thing.

Then I moved again, but by now e-books had burst open the erotic scene and I've a plethora of reading so I haven't been looking in the library for erotic choices.

Anyway, today I went in for a classic, for my book club reading - a Gabriel Garcia Marquez book. There was a disagreement over whether we'd chosen Love in the Time of Cholera or A Hundred Years of Solitude. So I thought I'd see which I could get out of the library. I've read Cholera before, but it was a long time ago. Neither was there... but there was one called Memories of My Melancholy Whores. I've never heard of it, and no idea what it's like, but it jumped into my hands and I bought it home.

Then when I turned to leave the bookshelf, another book caught my eye. The Penguin Book of Erotic Stories By Women. It has stories spanning a hundred years, with authors such as Isabel Allende, Gertrude Stein, Simone de Beauvoir. So it also jumped into my hands.

Then I did the checkout thing and my slip has "whores" and "erotic" on it. I think I might frame it. It's the most fun I've had in the library for years. I must go and look for more erotic titles! Then maybe they might put in my magnets, or bookmarks!

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Secret Confessions: Sydney Housewives LANA

From the hottest writers in Australia comes a scintillating new series. Enter the world of Sydney’s elite, and find out what goes on behind the doors of the most exclusive addresses in the country…
Meet the Housewives of Sydney. They are wealthy, elegant, poised, and constantly in the public eye. But what goes on behind closed doors, in the private homes and parties where the cameras and paparazzi aren’t welcome? Delve into the most personal details of their relationships, their friendships and their lives. The only question is: can you handle the heat?

Lana lives her life by her own rules – and she has very few. What she wants, she goes for, and she very rarely fails. So when a young, handsome waiter at her favourite restaurant catches her eye, she has no hesitation in asking him to escort her home. But one night of passion opens up exciting new possibilities, and a chance for Lana to enact one of her deepest, most elicit fantasies. 

Today is the online launch of this series. Each book will be released fortnightly, starting the 6th November with Rhian Cahill's Virginina. Lana will be out next, on the 20th November 2014, but before then you'll be able to get lots of information...

Starting with the Escapades Blog. Check it out here:

There's a facebook page:

If you'd like to join in the discussion, use the hashtag #Sydneywives on all posts.

A Little About Lana
Lana is one of the older members of the Diamond Dinner Club. She's an actress, made famous in a soapie, but she's worked hard to earn her fame. Now she's where she wants to be, she can indulge in her passions, one of which is young men...or toy boys as others so rudely refer to them. For Lana, they're never a toy. She loves the passion of young men, and how quickly they can undress.

A Little About Me
This project was exhilarating but challenging. Exhilarating because I'd worked with most of these writers once before and I learnt so much from them. I was thrilled to be involved in another project. Challenging because I'm one of the 'babies' on the group in terms of writing, plus I'd never written anyone like Lana before.

I loved this project and I hope you'll love Lana.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Wildlife Wednesday - Meerkats

Meerkats have become everyone's favourite since that TV show, Meerkat Manor, gave them a household name. There are heaps of meerkat videos on youtube and other sites. They seem to have a cult following!

At the Western Plains Zoo recently, we had an out-of-hours tour where one stop was the Meerkats. I was fascinated to learn some of the more obscure things about them.

In a pack, there is a dominant female, and usually she is the breeding female but other females can also breed (it seems entirely dependent on the nature of the dominant female). Gestation is for 77 days and 2-5 pups are born.

Meerkats are a 'tribe' and have a territory to defend. They mark out their territory like other animals. Unlike other animals, they post a sentry at all times. The sentry scrambles to the highest point in their territory and keeps guard. They make calls to let the 'tribe' know how things are looking.

There may be more than one sentry at sometimes, but there is always one. Although, the keepers at the zoo said on rare occasions, they 'tribe' get so excited by food they may rush down to eat and then realise there is no sentry and one of the meerkats will scramble quickly into place. The keeper wasn't sure how the sentries were decided or if there was retribution for failure :)

Meerkats have a great sense of sight. At Dubbo Zoo, the sentry will call for birds flying past...but also for planes and some of those are quite high up and difficult to see.

As my memory is not the best, I checked most of the information here.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Sunday Story - a revamp

I'm thinking that my blog needs a bit of a revamp.

I've been blahing away to myself and you guys for a while now on the same topics each week. I'm not really drawing in any new people...and I know that's my fault. I wasn't really focused on drawing attention to my ramblings, but I think I may have to do that now.

Every man and his dog has visitors come to their blog - and I don't. Visitors bring their friends along to comment...and this is something I need to do to find new audiences.

Cate Ellink's been a bit too quiet for a bit too long.

So... I'm going to start opening up the blog a bit more and try a few different things.

Wildlife Wednesday: I like doing this bit because it's fun. But I think I need to focus on the sex aspect - which I drift away from because I get caught up with the animal and the 'story'.

Phallic Friday: I need this to be a bit more hard-hitting, not my ramblings so much as some well investigated and thought-through pieces.

Sunday Story: A perfect spot for guest authors of the erotic variety.

Now, if I put more of an effort into these blogs, I'm not sure I can manage them every week. So I might do what I can, which may be more ad hoc than regimented.Although, I'm scared they might fade into oblivion if I don't keep to a routine!

So maybe I'll do good ones, and okay ones, mix them up a bit. Promo the well-researched ones, and keep the ramblings for my regular followers.

November is the launch of the Housewives, so I might get some Housewifely blogs happening to get me started. Let's see how I go!

Does that sound like a plan of attack? Or am I off in pixie-land?

Friday, October 3, 2014

Phallic Friday - talking about sex

I've been thinking a lot about how we talk about sex ('we', being me, my friends and family, and society). I've been thinking about it ever since I started this column. I felt I needed to be more candid about sex, more accepting about what I write, and more 'adult' in dealing with topics that aren't so comfortably discussed in mainstream conversations.

I was at a family do recently with extended family members of the generation ahead of me (so they're all late 60s to late 70s). I'm fairly sure that Dad has shared with them what I write 'erotic romance' but no one has ever discussed this with him, nor with me.

My family are conservative, religious Catholics. You'd say middle class, city people for the most. All in the group this day were in long-term, death-do-us part marriages, although one brother is divorced. In my generation there have been divorces, children born out of wedlock, affairs, drug-use, mental illness, abuse from spouse/partner and other such things. So I don't see the adults as sheltered because they've all had to deal with the fallout from these events...and they've discussed these issues amongst themselves. writing is spoken of in general terms, never specifics. For example, "I have a friend who needs help with writing, will you help her?" Never, "Do you have any books published?"

These people make smutty jokes, use sexual innuendo, and laugh about sex. Yet we can't have a conversation about what I write. Why is this?

I brought up my writing a few times (for the first time) and called it 'a little raunchy' but still no follow up conversation or question about me - just how I can help a friend, or how I could help them find something Australian to read in print!

I'd like to ask them directly why we can hedge around sex as a topic, but never discuss it as we do other things (like Church, kids, community, family)...but I feel I need to tread softly so as not to ostracise them completely. It's taken 4 years to get someone to acknowledge that I write...better not scare them by being too direct!

Is sex a topic you're comfortable discussing with friends or family? Or is it just too personal?

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Wildlife Wednesday - Galapagos Tortoise

Galapagos Tortoise and my Dad
Another zoo animal today - the Galapagos Tortoise. At the display, there was a 'poster' with breeding information...and I had to take the photo for my post. Hope you can read it when you get to the end!

The Australian Reptile Park web page has some good information which you can read here.

The Galapagos Tortoise can weigh up to 180 kg, with a shell that can be over a metre in length. They come from the Galapagos Islands (funny that, hey?) and each island has its own subspecies. They eat any green vegetable.

Galapagos Tortoise
Breeding occurs between January and June, and mating occurs when a male overpowers a female and immobilises them with their weight. The female lays 2-20 tennis-ball-sized eggs, which incubate for between 4 and 8 months. Young hatch between November and April.

Galapagos Tortoise Toenails
The Taronga Zoo website has some more information. Galapagos Tortoises are the largest tortoises in the world. An estimated 200 000 tortoises were eaten in the past by sailors, whalers and pirates. Less than 20 000 remain. Western Plains Zoo achieved the first hatchling, as part of the national breeding program, in March 2011. (I have a really blurry photo of the baby through glass. It's only the size of a small dinner plate).

Oh, now the Taronga Zoo website has much better mating details. I'll copy it here:

"Courting has been said to begin with the male ramming the female with the front of his shell and nipping her exposed legs until she draws them in, immobilizing herself. However our keepers have also observed that copulation can occur by the female elevating the back end of her shell and stretching her cloaca open and positioned towards him. Our female tortoise has even been observed to help the male with his aim, guiding him with her back feet."

That's a little more romantic than the earlier info about the female being squashed beneath his weight!!

They are slow moving animals, with a speed of 0.25 km/hr...but we saw them moving in for feeding and there was a bit of speed on then!

Galapagos Tortoise Breeding