Phallic Friday - sexless marriage

I read an article (again) that's here if you want to read it... but, it's creating stories in my head!

This article is about a woman who blogged about her marriage (wonder how her hubby and kids took that?). She says she recognised that there was no huge sex drive between herself and her partner, but went through with the marriage anyway because he had all the other traits she was looking for.

She's claiming that sex has dwindled to less than 10 episodes a year, which by some definition means she has a sexless marriage. She says she has not had an affair or looked for sex outside the marriage, but if she ever did, she would say the difference between their libidos would be the reason. It's an interesting article... but leaves so much open and makes me think of a thousand million questions and scenarios and stories.


I've been thinking for ages that I should write a story about this exact topic - a woman in a sexless marriage who has a clandestine affair on the side. But it's not romance! And that's been stopping me.

But it is erotica. It is something topical, if the news website can post such an article, and I think it could make an awesome story.

And what's stopping me?

You know, the biggest thing is ME! I'm a chicken at heart. I'm working my way over it (like by doing this blog!)... but still, I fluff my feathers and buk-buk-buk (does that sound like a chook?) around daily! One day I know I'll have courage but so far, I'm the cowardly lion in the Wizard of Oz.

Enough cliches? I'm procrastinating...when this book is calling to me to write it!!

Would you read it?

Wildlife Wednesday - Straw-necked Ibis

If you live in Sydney, you're probably well aware of these birds! The Straw-necked Ibis has become the new seagull or pigeon - they're everywhere!! When I grew up in Sydney, you rarely saw them, now they stalk you in every park!

They're nomadic birds, related to Spoonbills, who I think are magnificent birds (these ones not so much!).

They feed on invertebrates like grasshoppers and locusts, but also small frogs, reptiles and mammals. Plus I've seen them scavenge like seagulls and pigeons, even though the books say they do not!

One day driving back down the coast from Sydney, we were at the intersection of some busy road (I'm not good with names, but this water tower should give it away if you need to know!) and the Hume Highway. And an Ibis was up on this light pole, stretched out across the road. Another alighted next to it. Then proceeded to feed the first one! Yep, mother feeding bub, over busy intersection. Lucky there was a red light so I could grab my camera and take photos (and lucky Mr E is used to this and just winds down the window and patiently waits to drive on and get me away from whatever has caught my eye!).

I think you could find a better place to raise a chick! I'm not maternal, but really?!? :)

Sunday Story - My Writing Process

Mel Teshco roped me into another Blog Chain, this one links in with Sunday Story, so here it is.

I met Mel Teshco in person at the first RWA conference I attended, but I cyber-knew her because she worked on the Hearts Talk (newsletter) team. Mel's room happened to be a room number that I'd used in a story, so I was a bit freaked to meet her and her crit partner - but I could not have met two nicer people.

Mel writes all sorts of stories, mostly paranormal sexy ones, but also deeply moving emotional stories, and an inspirational one that I loved (Believe, read about it here). She has new ones in the pipeline that will keep you reading all night!! If you want to know more about her, visit her website (http://www.melteshco.com/) and read some of her books.

Last Sunday Mel talked about her writing process on her blog (here). Today, you get an insight into my writing process (if that’s what you’d call it!)

1. What am I working on now?

I hate this question. You get to see how scatty I am!

I have three projects I’m working on at the moment, because I get bored with just one!

i) a short story about a girl who can’t give blowjobs and needs help from a friend.

ii) a story that touches on fetishes and BDSM with a heroine who thought she knew lots

iii) a story about a marine scientist on a short-term research project who falls for the wrong guy.

2. How does my work differ from others of its genre?

In short, I have no idea. 

But the longer answer: If I think hard about it, I think I might bring a lot more ‘place’ into my stories, with the settings and jobs often being important. I write in the first person, although I'm not unique there, only in the minority. I write Aussie stories because I’ve not been anywhere else long enough to know another place (and because I love the countryside here). Sometimes my science brain takes over.

3. Why do I write what I do?

I want to understand life and decisions and relationships.

 

Sex and intimacy fascinates me. 

Sometimes I like to push myself, push my boundaries, push society's boundaries. There's a little bit of a rebel in me, who wants to write these stories because society tries to stop frank discussions about sex and intimacy and relationships.

I like asking questions, like - What makes people end up together? How do you get so hot for one guy/girl and not another? How can you trust a person with so much of yourself? How do you fit romance, intimacy, sex, relationships, someone else into your life that’s busy with your plans? 

That’s what makes me write these types of stories.

4. How does my writing process work?

Well, ummm… it's not really a process, more a compulsion. So in between everything else I do, I squeeze in writing. I have to write to keep the people inside quiet. Once I write their story, they leave me alone (except for Cooper, who is still around but I like him a lot!). I've always written, if only just for myself. It's only recently that I started to share what I write.

I don’t have a fixed plan. I work for myself and work can be a mountain or sparse. When it’s sparse I write lots; when it’s a mountain, hardly at all. Sometimes I get a day to myself and it’s joy of joys – I write and write and write. I scribble while Mr E watches TV when he requests my presence beside him (haven’t worked out why he likes that yet). I wake in the night scribbling random thoughts. I read a lot and I think this writing bug developed from that.

It’s a rather ad hoc process and I’d like it more refined but it works for me. I'm not terribly refined, or organised!

I'm not one for chains, so this is going to stop with me...unless you'd like to carry it on :)

Phallic Friday - sex questions

Australia Day blog hop is here.

I read an article on the news website this week answering 5 sex questions. You can find it here.

The 5 questions were:

• How often do 'regular' couples have sex?
• How long should sex last?
• How big is an average penis?
• Does the g-spot really exist?
• What do I do if my partner is experiencing sexual dysfunction?

An interesting mix of question.

Some of the answers would have to be, "how long is a piece of string?", as I was often told! There is no answer to some of these questions - and that's reflected in the answers given in the article (which is refreshing!). I guess it's why these questions are asked over and over and over again.

If you have sex 3 or 4 times a day, you want to know you're normal. If you have sex once a year, you want to know you're normal.

If sex lasts for 2 minutes, or 2 hours, you want to know you're normal.

If your/your partner's penis is 2 cm or 20 cm, you want to know you/they are normal.

Why do people want normality (although, I'm not going there today!)? Or are they just searching to see that they're 'doing it right'?

And this is where romance books are great. There is such a range of 'normals' given - erotic for the sexually active, sweet for the not so sexually active. So much 'normal' - oh, except maybe penis size... that's always on the larger size, and as a general rule, the hotter the story, the more humongous the penis!

Anyway, those are my random musings after reading this article.

Wildlife Wednesday - Christmas Beetle

Australia Day Blog Hop is here

Today's wildlife is the Christmas Beetle who arrive around Christmas time each year - although this year I think they were later in my neck of the woods.

Here's some info about them from the Australian Museum website.

"There are about 35 species of Christmas beetles (family Scarabaeidae), eight of which occur in Sydney. Anoplognathus viriditarsus is the largest of the Sydney Christmas beetles" - and I think he's the one I photographed.

The larvae are small, white and c-shaped, with the adults emerging close to Christmas time. They're brightly coloured (often only when the light hits them the right way, in my observations) and feed on eucalyptus leaves.

I like these beetles, even if they sometimes buzz you at night and smack you in the face. They're harmless. They're happy to crawl all over you without hurting. And they're a sign of summer - my favourite time of year. 

Sunday Story - first lines and false starts

First lines are very important - or this is one of the 'rules' we're told when we start writing.

I opened a book to start tonight and burst out laughing. The first line is:

"So."

That's it. The first line. Made me laugh! When you're good, you can break the rules.


And on a different note, I'm writing a gazillion false starts at the moment. RWA's short story contest closes soon, and I've always put in a story. The theme is moonstone, and this year I have seven false starts and no story.

Looks like it may be a year without a Little Gem...and moonstones are lovely, I'd so like to have something to contribute. No even the beach is inspiring me this time.

I must have other stories than need finishing *sigh*

Phallic Friday - Diphallia

If you're looking for the AUSTRALIA DAY BLOG HOP, click here.

I read this incredible article on the news website two weeks ago, you can find it here.

A fellow with Diphallia, the extremely rare condition of having two penises, answered questions for readers on Reddit.

I can't work out if this is serious or a joke...but I guess it must be serious. I did a Google search and Princeton university claims only about 100 men with the case since it was identified in 1609!!! And the occurrence is 1 in 5.5 million men. Oh, and then I get to the end and the article is from Wikipedia. But I did find a separate paper in a journal relating to the topic but couldn't see any info. So I still don;t know if it's true or hoax.

So let's suppose it's true (it would be incredible to invent it - although some erotic authors have with paranormal creatures!). I have loads and loads of questions:

How does sex happen?
Do both penises (or is it peni?) penetrate or only one?
What happens to the other if only one penetrates?
Is it twice the orgasm? (I guess we'll never know that because you can't compare it to anything else)
Are they both the same size?
The same size as regular penises (you know, on average, cos I know they're all different)? Or together do they make the same size?

I'm interested that in the article he used to use his condition as a pick up line, but it often backfired when girls took off after finding out he was telling the truth!

The world is full of fascinating people with fascinating conditions. And generally, asking questions is rude and frowned upon (how many times did I get corrected for those questions I blurted when I was a kid?), so it's awesome that he took the time to answer questions and highlight the condition. I learned a lot and puzzled more.

Had you heard of this condition before reading the article?

Wildlife Wednesday - Australia Day Blog Hop

King Parrots

Today I'm participating in the Australia Day Blog Hop with some of the coastal romance girls.

Australia Day is January 26th - so I'm a bit early for celebrations :) - but we're celebrating the whole month of January! Any excuse for a party.

Let me tell you what I love about Australia...it's the Wildlife.

I know wildlife and erotic author don't go together but I've always been crazy about animals. My first degree was in Environmental Biology, which only encouraged my wildlife madness. So every Wednesday I indulge in my wildlife interest and bring you some of the animals I come across.

In Australia, we have some unique animals, some scary animals, some venomous animals and some pretty ordinary animals. Enough critters to keep me busy on Wednesdays forever more! Each Wednesday I post about an animal I've seen in my yard or in my travels. I try to put some sciencey information into each blog, but sometimes I don't know enough, or can't find the information!But I love my WIldlife Wednesdays.

Here are some of the creatures who have partcipated. You can click on the caption and if I'm lucky, it will take you to that post. Or you can skip right over the photos and get to the rafflecopter.

Moths

Brushtail possum Mum and Bub

Huntsman spider

Luderick

Starfish underneath

Emu (male) and his chicks

Dolphin at Monkey Mia, WA

Water Dragon laying eggs

Blue-tongue Lizard

Happy blog hop and Happy Aussie Day!

Please visit the other participants in the blog hop, and good luck in the quest for a prize.

Cate xo

Don't forget to call in every day and visit the blogs, leave a comment, enter the raffle copter for the fabulous gift basket.

$100 and 26 e-books (some print) from our generous authors

drawn Australia Day

a Rafflecopter giveaway

January	1	Monique McDonnell
January	2	Sara Hantz
January	3	Annie Seaton
January	4	Imogene Nix
January	5	Caitlyn Nicholas
January	6	Tima Maria Lacoba
January	7	Nicole Flockton
January	8	Wendy L. Curtis
January 9		E.E. Carter
January	10	Susan Horsnell
January	11	Susanne Bellamy
January	12	J'aimee Brooker
January	13	Victoria Purman
January	14	Ann B Harrison
January	15	Cate Ellink  and  Demelza Carlton
January	16	Jenny Schwartz
January	17	Donna Gallagher
January	18	Lily Malone
January	19	Tea Cooper
January	20	Fiona McArthur
January	21	Max Henry
January	22	Jennie Jones
January	23	Alison Stuart
January	24	Eve Rabi
January	25	Kendall Talbot
January	26	Annie Seaton-Prize draw

Sunday Story - Keri Arthur

If you're looking for the Bunker Play Blog hop, click here.

I was going to review Lily Malone's Fairway to Heaven today but - argh! - I haven't finished it! My battery needs recharging, so I can't finish it in time. But if you loved Lily's view of the world and way of writing, then you'll love it. It's very real life.

So let me tell you about the Keri Arthur glut I had while waiting for Fairway to be released. I'd read 3 of the Dark Angel series but then I saw Book 6 was out. How did I miss books 4 and 5? And Christmas presents needed buying, and books 4, 5 and 6 sounded like great gifts, so I got them and had them to catch up on what I'd missed.

When I think about series, I shudder. I'm not a series reader. Except, sometimes I am. And Keri Arthur is one of those authors that can pull off a series with as much passion, action and suspense in Book 1 as in Book 6. And there's one more for this series, Book 7, and no doubt I'll be buying it again.

And this isn't my first Keri Arthur series. I have to confess to reading them all - and addicting my hubby and my Dad.

So, the Darkness ones. Darkness Hunts is Book 4 and it got me back into Risa's story, made me love Azriel all over again, made me like Tao and Ilianna, Risa's friends, and I reacquainted myself with Riley and Quinn and Rhoan. Ah, back in happy familiar land.

Then Book 5. OMG. It had spiders. I'm not scared of spiders. I'm the one who has to get them out of our house here, so they don't terrify me. But they terrified Risa, and I was there with her. Lying in bed, I felt them crawling on me. I had to get up, go to the bathroom, check for spiders, and there was this blob on my ankle, huge, I flicked it off all in a terror...it was paint! Seriously?!? How did Keri Arthur do that to me? At 2 am?

Okay, so Book 6 I was going to leave for a while but it somehow found its way into my hand when I put down book 5. And then I had to do things, you know like sleep and eat and feed hubby, and finally it was night and I could read again. And Book 6 had me up all night to finish it - even though it's months until Book 7. Bloody hell. How does she do that? How do I get so lost in these books, in this series, that I'm devouring them? That the hour doesn't matter? That I had to be there with Risa without letting her go?

Damn, she's good.When I grow up, I want to write that good!

Bunker Play Blog Hop

Today I'm doing something a little different.

Lily Malone is a major supporter of this blog, great commenter, and all around fabulous person. She has a new book out, so to celebrate, we have a Bunker Play Blog Hop for your enjoyment - her book is about golf, but not as you know it!

Lily's book has the most divine cover, which you can own when you go to buy her book at Amazon or Smashwords, or you can drool over it right here!


Golf and Cate Ellink
So, I'm supposed to talk about golf. Golf and I are not friends, although I have tried! When I lived in a small country town in western NSW, golf was one of the pastimes to take up. We had a pro come to town for lessons, and along I went to the women's classes.

I had a great time - being useless! I learned to hold the clubs and swing, and line up shots and do all the technical things...but putting it into action was a test of my patience.

I'm not naturally sporty. I love sport but it usually doesn't like me with the same passion, and golf is no different. I could whack one great shot in 18 holes... the rest sucked!

But I like to watch. I grew up near a course in Sydney where there was a big event each year. My Mum and I would walk down to stand at the corner and see Greg Norman tee off on this one hole. It was fabulous. When I was a kid, great crowds didn't seem to attend things, so often there was just a few locals there to oohh and ahh...but you don't get to stand on the corner and watch people play any more. It's a much more professional and organised outfit, and I'm still disorganised and unmotivated to get organised!

But I'll be reading Lily's book. Actually I have already. She's teased me with sex in bunkers, and all sorts of golfing fun. So I'm looking forward to reading Fairway to Heaven on my e-reader.


GIVEAWAY
I'm going to give one commenter on my blog a copy of Lily's book, plus a copy of my latest release, The Virginity Mission, and a fridge magnet of that drool-worthy cover. All you have to do is leave a comment about your golfing prowess - or something about golf! Local and International visitors welcome. Drawn 15th January.

If you leave your email address in the comments (just write 'at' instead of @; or email me if you prefer) then I'll contact you and mail you a fridge magnet of The Virginity Mission cover. Local and International visitors welcome.

The overall Rafflecopter is here

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Good luck in the Blog Hop. If you get lost, you can always go back to the blog of our intrepid leader, Rhyll Biest.

Cate xox

Wildlife Wednesday - water dragon

Here's the promised Water Dragon laying eggs. In the top photo you can only see the hole and that the lizard doesn't look so flash

But in this photo, see the white blobs in the ground beneath her, under the back legs and tail? They're the eggs.

Now I hope it's a water dragon...but no promises! My book tells me they lay eggs in spring, and we're way into summer now. But it's definitely some sort of lizard critter!! The guy nearby said Bearded Dragon, but to me it doesn't have enough of a frill around its neck to be a Bearded Dragon.

Nature is stunning!

Sunday Story - Almost Real

Charlotte Stein has a new book out and I'm a little addicted to her work. The new book is Almost Real and at the moment it's only available on Ellora's Cave website but soon will be available everywhere.

So, because of my addiction, I had to go grab it last night and then devour it. Because of a late night the previous night, I couldn't devour it in one sitting, but two. And OMG!

In typical Stein fashion, it's deep POV, subterranean. But it's in 3rd person... but a third person that could be first person. All from the heroine's POV. And she's insecure, unsure, in an arrange marriage just for work purposes for a year. He's a brick outhouse/tombstone who says little but gets under her guard.

And you're there, with Margot, with all her concerns about him and the situation and how she should deal with it.

There are joyful descriptions like, "For a while she found herself mesmerized by the play of muscles in his back as he moved from task to task. They shifted like tectonic plates beneath his clingy vest, so solid and far too big to miss." and "HIs face was so stuffed sull of warmth it was practically leaking out of his ears."

And then something shifts and she's not so needy or insecure. And it's riveting to watch this shift. It's incredible to see the tiny changes, the tiny glimmers of confidence.

And then when you think it's all a psychological book, SMACK! Stein hits you with adrenalin and I could not put the book down towards the end. It's gripping and gorgeous and so very very strong.

And then it's over...and you have to wait more months for the next Charlotte Stein offering. Lucky there are other books to read in between shots :)

Phallic Friday - respect for procreation

Apologies that I am late with this post...but I'm home now, so transmission from now on should be normal (if
I am ever normal!).

This is just a random post while I get  myself organised to life again...

Yesterday Mr E and I were walking down to the beach when he spied a Water Dragon sitting on the edge of the path looking rather worse for wear. I took some pics (yes, it will be available on Wednesday!) and then he moved a piece of grass away because I wondered if the poor thing was alive. It didn't move, but then there was a ripple through its body and an egg dropped into the small hole in the sand it was lying over.

Some people came along with kids, men I think and their kids, and were ogling the water dragon. The young boy went to touch it when the father noticed another egg being laid. Suddenly he acted, "No, don't touch it, it's laying eggs." So we all stood and watched a little longer before moving on.

I think lizards are like turtles and go into a kind of torpor (drug induced relaxed state in order to expel humungous eggs from its body!) during egg laying, which is why I thought the lizard may have been dead.

And this had me thinking...the lizard was completely vulnerable at this stage, and the man stopped his son touching it because of this vulnerability. They way he said it, I imagine if the lizard was not in this predicament, the son may have been encouraged to touch it.

So, do we as humans have respect for vulnerability? Or do we have respect for procreation?

In Australia, we've had a lot of alcohol-fuelled violence on our streets, and the victims are often young men of smallish stature and not heavily tattooed (as my general observation, no data exists for this), which makes me believe vulnerability isn't respected. But I digress.

Anyway, when we were almost on the beach, the young boy touched my arm and said, "Did you see the lizard?" I admitted it was Mr E. Then he said, "Thank you, it was cool to see."

And my faith in humanity was restored by this young boy's thanks.

Happy New Year Phallic Friends!

Wildlife Wednesday - Happy New Year

Happy New Year!

I've been dog-sitting over the holidays because I am a dog-free person for the first time in my life after losing mine. Do you know how much better I feel being around dogs? Is that a strange thing to say?

I have been having lots of dog pats, hugs and kisses. Lots of walks. Lots of feeding and snuggling. Okay, not so much snuggling!

And dog-sitting has been fun. I'll post some pictures but somehow my iPad and photos and blogging doesn't work...so when I get home.

I wish you all a wonderful 2014. I hope you have some plans for your year ahead and that you get the chance to work towards them.

My plans:
Get Deep Diving published
Finish Fellatio Failure
Finish Fetish story
Maybe even start a new story...one is even bubbling away.

Happy New Year!