Monday, July 17, 2023


 I've lost my positivity, I've noticed, as I look back here. I'm sorry.

Cate was always the me who did the different things, who pushed boundaries, who walked along the line of 'not normal' that I was always being told I should be closer to.

I don't deal well with the push backs... which is why Cate was perfect. But now I see that Cate's being subjected to the pushbacks that I didn't cope well with. And not surprisingly, I'm still not doing well with it! LOL! 

I've curled into my shell and packed up. Not a great attitude for someone who wants to change the world, hey?


Small steps to make changes, that's the way to go for me.

Here's my positive for the day:

I cleaned up a bean bag fom the local river over the last couple of days. I saw it there, torn, with those little styrofoam balls falling out. I went home for garbage bags but underestimated the number required. So after a couple of trips I've now got the bag and 95% of the balls removed. 

Those tiny balls! OMG, they're so hard to pick up and put in a bag! They're electrostatically charged and have a mind of their own. They cling to the plastic rubbish bag, then leap away. They coat themselves in sand and vanish. I was like a crazy person trying to deal with them. So they're still mostly there, and I hope to go back again and have another attempt at collecting more of them.

Here are 2 of the 3 garbage bags required to get the bulk of it removed.

The best thing about this: I live in such a great place, that there is always someone doing a task like this, and I'm glad I got to have my turn tday. 

What's your positive story for the day/week/month/year?

Monday, May 29, 2023

Huge big sigh

Now my posts are being put behind 'sensitivity' warnings. So far only 1 post... and it's one of the tamer ones about women (women-on-women sex). 

I don't understand the world any more... although, I wonder if I ever did?

So much is messing with my head. 

The age old sex is terrible, we must hide and shame it; yet violence is on the nightly news uncensored.

Women are being murdered by their exes; but men need to be helped to see their kids, mend their relationships. Family court overrules standing AVOs/DVOs.

Victims are being revictimised by the court system over and over again.

Why would anyone put their head up and complain about something that needs to be better in society... when they're piled on, abused, shamed, annihilated.

I picked up a book because this quote was on the cover - Why are we made to fear the witches, and not the men who burned them?

Why is society the way it is?

What can I do to change it?

I think I've been quietly trying to change the world around me for fifty years... and change is so slow that mostly it seems like it's not happening.

I'm disheartened, frustrated, annoyed, but trying so hard to see the good, the joy, the changes, the people doing so much for others. I do need to focus on the good.

There are so many advocates for women who have been hurt, abused and victimised. People who are being voices when others can't speak. These people are angels.

There are those being outspoken and opposing shame and stigma around sex and sexual choices. More angels.

There is acknowledgement of gender fluidity, people allowed to marry whoever they love, rights being restored to many who had few, voices being allowed to be spoken and heard.

There is change happening.

I need to remain positive that life will be better for those to come.

Tuesday, March 21, 2023

Censorship & Writing Struggles

For longer than I've been Cate Ellink, I've struggled with the abundance of shame, horror, and shock piled on me because I want to write about sex. I am Cate Ellink because of this; my family's reaction to me using my real name was extreme, and not something I expected. And in 13 years, it hasn't lessened.

Today I typed in my website address. There's the adult warning (as usual) and I click that. But now I get something where I must sign in and my sign in must have a credit card linked to it so that they know I'm over 18.

My heart breaks. Again.

Who will ever find my website?

I can't post links to my blog posts on social media because it shows a broken webpage image and no one looks at those (and you'd now have to log in, etc etc).

I can't advertise my book covers using social media ads because there are naked chests.

The use of the word 'virginity' in the title caused so much trouble with advertising that it never happened (it couldn't happen).

I pay the same amount of money to host this site as I do my other one. One is freely open to all, and this is shoved in the shadows in the corner and hidden.

And fuck... I haven't killed anyone. There's no aggressive violence or hate views expressed. No, those would be fucking okay.

I talk about sex. A freaking natural act that somehow causes extreme reactions - more so than death, violence, or hate speech.

My writing has been down the gurgler ... and it's no wonder. Why would you write when you're so shunned for what you write about?

The fight to normalise nature is fucking exhausting.

Why can't we ban the bloody awful things human beings to do each other - like war, violence, rape, hate, abuse? Why is nature so shunned?

If my website goes...does it matter? Probably not to anyone but me. It's a record for me, of my journey along this path. I've so many incredible memories of sharing discussions, thoughts, discoveries, and nature. 

I'm sad today. So sad.

Monday, February 6, 2023

Oh good grief!

 Where does time go? I popped on here and last time I was here was November. Holy cow!

I wish I could tell you that I had some great book news for you...but I don't. Sorry. Old books are on sale, a few words have tumbled from my brain, but mostly I'm still taking photos.

Here are some of the latest photos:

I sat at the beach on Saturday evening to see the moon rise. It wasn't quite full, but the night was perfect I thought. I'm glad I did because last night was clouds. Of course, these are in reverse order...but I'm out of practice doing posts :)

Hope you enjoy!

The almost full moon, later in the evening

Sunset and gum leaves

Sunset through the dune trees

The moon and ocean through the dunes

Moon, ocean, waves

A wave while I was waiting

The wind-blown sand, while I waited

A tern flies back with a feed

Seagulls flying into the setting sun

The setting sun through the grass on the dunes