Monday, December 31, 2012

Happy New Year

Welcome to 2013.

I'm looking forward to the hope and promise of a new year. Everything seems possible. Dreams sit close to your fingertips almost within grasp. You can start afresh, plan anew. Life holds such promise.

I make no resolutions though. I've never been one for making them, probably because I am not a planner. I do set myself deadlines, especially with my writing.

So here are my 2013 deadlines:
Mid Jan. Submit diving story
End of Jan. Complete The Death Story
End March. Complete Online fantasy 2
End June. Complete Past Lives
End Oct. Self pub Mo-Ro story
End year. Draft a new story

And hopefully that will keep me out of mischief!

How about you, do you make resolutions or goals?

2012 Reflections

On the last day of the year it's only fitting to look back at the things I'm grateful for. So here they are:

One of my stories was published as an e-book
Another came second in a contest and was print published in an anthology
I went to the RWA conference
I went on my first writing retreat
Some of my friends became published, others had new books out
I read a heap of books, many of which I loved
I edit a magazine each month with a great team
My dog stayed with me for six months after her mate died
My husband survived the embarrassment of my publication
I got an iPad mini that I love
My health improves each year
I have a great book club
I have a librarian who keeps me supplied with books
I live in a great town
I have great friends and family
My work keeps growing
Birds, possums, lizards and other critters fill my backyard
I have a few drafts ready to polish
I have lots of ideas

I have lots to be thankful for, which makes me keen for 2013.

Happy New Year!!

Friday, December 28, 2012

Phallic Friday - Phone Sex

Last week we spoke about cyber sex, which naturally leads into this week's topic of phone sex. 

Wikipedia defines this as: Phone sex is a type of virtual sex that refers to sexually explicit conversation between two or more persons via telephone, especially when at least one of the participants masturbates or engages in sexual fantasy. Phone sex conversation may take many forms, including (but not limited to): guided, sexual sounds, narrated, and enacted suggestions; sexual anecdotes and confessions; candid expression of sexual feelings or love and or discussion of very personal and sensitive sexual topics.

Phone sex exists both in the context of intimate relationships (e.g., among distanced lovers), and as a commercial transaction between a paying customer and a paid professional.

And if you're keen on googling, there were trillions of sites with phone sex tips - including the cliches most often used. 

That's where I think Phone Sex gets it's "ick" reputation from - cliches. The "What are you wearing?" line said with breathless anticipation. The answer, which of course is something gorgeously sexy and revealing, when the reality is the opposite.

But I think phone sex plays a great role in stimulating a relationship. It can be a great form if intimacy for long distance lovers, allowing them to connect in a way that is not physically possible. You can re-live your favourite sexual experience, enhancing it if you feel like pushing the boundaries.

The commercial nature of phone sex once interested me. I'd been skydiving and I seriously wanted to take it up as a hobby (I make a collection of expensive hobbies!) but the cost was too much, on top of other things I did. So one of my work colleagues suggested prostitution as a form of making more money (You can see I worked with great people :) ). But then when we got to the practicalities of prostitution in a rural community, it became a bit 'lacking in the impersonal'. So then we thought about phone sex. I thought I could do that... I need never know who was ringing and they would never know I was answering. Much better than a face to face meeting at the pub/supermarket an hour after the event. My colleague then suggested I could be vacuuming and saying, "Oh, baby give it to me. Push it harder." And after fits of giggles, the phone sex option went out the window (along with the skydiving, sadly). But it was a fun thought for a while!

Does phone sex have any good/funny memories for you?

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Wildlife Wednesday - Cockatoos

I thought I'd have heaps of time to do this post - not so! Sorry I'm late and disorganised (that could be the story of my life!).

I have cockatoos in my backyard and I like them, however, my husband shoots at them with water guns. Not just a water pistol but a great super soaker and a water cannon. He went shopping specifically to get them. He's paranoid that they're destructive and if we aren't here, they'll eat the house and destroy everything. So far, all they've done is toss things off the outside cupboard (like the dog brush, pegs) trying to get my attention.

I think they're gorgeous. I love the way their sulphur-crests rise up and dance on the top of their head when they're alarmed. I like their "arck" noise when they're trying to get my attention or scare off another bird or warn others of the super soaker.

Anyway, must go, the husband will have the super soaker at me soon - apparently I'm supposed to spend time with him, who knew! :)

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas. Thanks for reading all year. I hope Christmas brings you health, happiness and dreams come true.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Re-writing is just hard work

I have a writing process that makes my life difficult - although, I think every writer might say the same regardless of their process!!

I'm in the bit I loathe - re-writing or self-editing or whatever it's called that doesn't include swearing!

I love the writing bit. I sit and create. Words flow, ideas crash into one another. I leave myself notes when I know some part's not right. It spills from me, great gushes of characters, scenes, back story, emotion (well, not so much of that), dialogue, setting. I walk away exhilarated by my new story.

And then I go back and read it. Holy hell! It's a mess. An absolute mess. The bones are there to make it good... but it's so far from that it's appalling. So, I set about taming, tweaking, re-writing, smoothing, embellishing, filling in gaps (where I've left myself a note that says something like, 'This is meant to be erotic', you know, just in case I forget that!). And I hate it. I hate taming, tweaking, re-writing, smoothing, embellishing. I like writing!

This time it's a novella (but there's another novella and a novel waiting for this process to occur too - I told you I liked the writing part!) and I've done half... but the last bit I did isn't right but I'm not sure what's wrong. Should I go forwards or keep working on it? I know I have to go forwards, so I can then come back. Only then will I know what I need to do... but I hate going forwards when it's wrong.

And I hate this part. (have you picked that up yet? :) Oh yeah, I like repetition too, lots of it)

But I have to remember, if it was meant to be easy - everyone would be doing it.

Now I've got that off my chest, I'll get stuck into it.

Is there anything you need to get off your chest today? I'm willing to listen - it has to be better than re-writing!

Friday, December 21, 2012

Phallic Friday - Cyber Sex

My short story, A Real Online Fantasy, is about a couple who’ve indulged in online sex and decide to take it further. Let’s explore the idea of cyber sex.

Just in case you're unsure of what it is, online sex, or cyber sex, is defined on Wikipedia as: Cybersex, also called computer sex, Internet sex, netsex, mudsex, TinySex and, colloquially, cybering or conversex is a virtual sex encounter in which two or more persons connected remotely via computer network send each other sexually explicit messages describing a sexual experience. In one form, this fantasy sex is accomplished by the participants describing their actions and responding to their chat partners in a mostly written form designed to stimulate their own sexual feelings and fantasies.

It's my belief that the mental connection between people plays a huge role in sexual relationships. My brain is my greatest sex organ. And this is what fascinates me about cyber sex. You’re activating your brain, and the brain of another like-minded soul, to indulge in a mutually beneficial arrangement. You can orgasm without touching yourself or allowing anyone else to touch you. Clean, disease-free, safe and totally stimulating!!

But it has to be a like minded soul. Cyber sex can be a cyber joke with the wrong person.

Many years ago I had an internet addiction and could be found in most waking hours on talkers (an early version of chat rooms). They were filled with avid computer users, mostly academics or uni students. There were few under-age people (computers were expensive, weren’t common in homes, and certainly not part of a phone!) There were talkers devised solely for the purposes of cyber sex. Some of the talkers were themed, and I spent a lot of time at the BDSM-theme talkers, in a world that fascinated me.

Not only could you have cyber sex, but you could be cyber collared by a Dom or a Domme. You could indulge in acts that completely blew your mind - and then walk away without a mark or bruise.
We’re talking about nothing physical, nothing visual. This was before web cameras, Skype, even digital cameras. This was all about the brain. All about stimulating your mind, your imagination. It fascinated me. I couldn’t learn enough. And it was completely addictive.

I’d chat to people (as if you were meeting them at a party or in a bar) with normal conversations - what do you do, where do you live, etc. As we became friends, the conversations became more intense. I was forever trying to understand what made people enjoy the fantasies they did. People and their desires fascinate me. Sometimes a person’s job reflected their fantasy - so what came first, the job or the desire? And interestingly enough, few people I met indulged their fantasies in real life - it was kept to the computer, their mind.

One of the most fascinating men I met was an anaesthetist with a rope/bondage fetish. In his day job, he knocked people out and had them at his mercy during surgery… at night, he’d cyber bind you and pleasure you until you came, which gave him his release.

Have you indulged in the world of cyber sex? 
Does your job reflect your fantasies?

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Wildlife Wednesday

Today's Backyard Wildlife are skinks - very big skinks! I guess because they're so huge, they must be a different species to the tiny little skinks I'm used to but I haven't found what they are.

These might be a pair as I always see them together. The one in the foreground has a very long tail. The other on has quite a stumpy tail. I know skinks regrow their tails, so I don't know if I put the bin down on stumpy's tail, or if it's normal for him/her.

The long tailed one is huge across the middle. I suspect she might be pregnant - but she could be a he who's eating all my strawberries and tomatoes!!

I love the gold colouring on them. In the sunshine it's quite a startling gold.

They're funny little critters and are beginning to trust me, as they don't scurry away when I go near them now. If I get them feeding off my hand, I'll make sure to have the camera handy.

Eastern Water Skinks (from Backyard Buddies)

Friday, December 14, 2012

Phallic Friday - The Vibrator

My plan for Phallic Friday was to post photos of "normal" things that look phallic... but I don't have many!

So, Plan B is to post photos sometimes, but the rest of the time to talk about sex openly. I aim for my writing to be honest and open... so I better do the same on my blog.

So, let's start our Phallic Friday discussion with a very phallic object, the Vibrator.

I'm a huge fan of Vibrators and have been known to give them as gifts to friends. I've taken friends into shops to buy them. They're a great alternative to the real thing - ready when you want them, ask for nothing in return except a clean and the odd battery change, can sit in the drawer quietly and be ignored. They don't do warmth, hugs, kisses or anything extra, but then I've known some men like that too! :)

In my younger years a magazine, Australian Women's Forum, began. It openly discussed all manner of things about sex. I heard about a sex toy shop in Sydney just for women. So I went along to learn about sex toys and became addicted to vibrators - not just the dildo kind but the ones with the clitoral stimulator/tickler.

But there's a catch. Too much clitoral stimulation/vibration can cause damage to the urethra in some women. Have you heard of "Honeymoon cystitis"? It's an infection caused by an increase in sexual activity - and in days gone by, that only occurred on the honeymoon, hence the name. So lots of stimulation around the clitoris, can cause infection of the urethra. And this needs to be cleared up. I'm no doctor, so I'll leave the medical stuff to the professionals but if you have an infection, you should see a doctor.

In my net searching of this topic, I came across a couple of interesting sites.

This one helps if you're looking at what to buy:

The Erotic Readers and Writers Association has a sex toy playground :)

But this one interested me. I've never heard of the Eroscillator but Dr Ruth recommends it (she's a US sex therapist - had to Google).

Have you tried the Eroscillator?

What's your view on vibrators?

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Wildlife Wednesday

I have amazing wildlife in my backyard, so I thought I'd share them with you every Wednesday (when I remember, of course!).

My favourites, and a festive treat, are the King Parrots. They are wild birds but we put out sunflower seeds and some of them have become quite friendly.
A male and two female King Parrots feeding
The male has the brilliant red face and chest, with the dark green wings (speckled with lime and turquoise and dark blue). The female has the green face and chest, with the red low down on belly and tail. The juveniles have the speckled colour of this lone bird, and this one will become the brilliant red of the males.

They aren't here all year but they come at Christmas time to raise their young. In a few weeks I'll be cursing them as the babies squawk constantly with an ear-piercing shrill.

I think we're lucky to have them come and visit. This is the first place I've lived in with King Parrots in residence. King Parrots need hollows for nests and the huge old gums near us must be good homes.

Monday, December 10, 2012

The Power of Herbs

Do you believe in herbal medicine? Would you ever use herbs as a cure or part of a cure?

I'm a believer. I don't shun western medicine but I use alternative therapies too. Seven years ago I contracted Ross River Fever from a mosquito (darn thing!) and have never fully recovered. Western medicine has no way of coping with this, or helping me to cope, so I rely on alternative therapies.

Anyway, the past few weeks I've had no voice, not really a cold just a virus attack. So I went to see my herbalist (is that what they're called? I have no idea what to call her, she's just Joy!) and she gave me Fenugreek and Poke Root.

I laughed, out loud. Poke Root? It's too funny a name... and for me... even funnier.

Anyway, after 5 days of Fenugreek and Poke Root, my voice is returning and I feel more alive. Last year when I didn't go to see her and had the same no-voice-thing, it took me six weeks to recover (actually, I did go to her in the end, she gave me peppermint and I got better, but I wasn't sure it cured me).

Thank goodness for Poke Root and Fenugreek and herbal remedies. I couldn't live without them.