Friday, May 17, 2013

Phallic Friday - mental or physical?

Today's question is one I wrestle with quite a bit.

Is the turn on from sex, mental or physical?

I lean towards it being largely mental. Why? Well, sometimes if I read or watch or listen or think, without touching any body part, I can be aroused. I have read scenes that have me squirming I'm so aroused from just reading (no body parts touched). It's rare that it goes further than squirming but it has happened. So without anything physical occurring, there's a turn on from sex.

But, my hesitation with my answer is from anecdotal claims that you can orgasm without enjoying the sex...but I wonder if there's a mental component to that even. I have never experienced this.

So, do you have thoughts on whether sexual enjoyment largely comes from the physical or the mental?


  1. And my question would be, is the anecdotal evidence about men or women? Big difference I think.

  2. Good point Anita!
    I would say definitely mental, Cate, certainly for women, and I agree with you on movies or parts of books being able to get that feeling going.
    Although I guess this is part of the argument about blokes and porn... that's mental stimulation that must initially work for them, except I imagine that can then quite quickly become physical.
    So, typical on the fence answer from me. I think it's both but the very original stimulation, IMHO is mental, not physical. You have to get the urge first I think.
    Lily M

  3. Hey Anita and Lily,
    I was going to go off on a tangent with my anecdotal evidence but I thought it was not on topic and not somewhere I wanted to go, so I kind of bailed!

    But you're right, big difference for men and women. Good point.

    And yes, you get the urge first! Good point too.

    Thanks for weighing in.

    Cate xo