Friday, May 10, 2013

Phallic Friday - Humiliation

I've read a couple of books recently with humiliation causing pleasure in them and it's not something that turns me on. I can't get my head around it. Humiliation makes me furious.

I can "get" that as a "slave" humiliation is part of the deal. But what turns a submissive on about that? What part of humiliation turns a dom/me on?

I've been trying to rationalise it, get inside what makes humiliation work. It's a really powerful "tool" and it's important I can understand it. I can't write it if I don't understand what's behind it, what motivates it and what pleasure you get from it.

I've no idea if I've managed to understand. This is my take but I'd love to know what you think.

Humiliation takes you to the lowest point. You're worthless. You're nothing but an object belonging to the humiliator - subject to their whims. You have no way of getting out of this yourself. You're at the bottom and no one is going to help you up. I think at this point you must give up all hope of self. There must be a total loss of you, a loss of your worth and a loss of hopes/dreams/future.

And the power of the humiliation is that you're lifted out of it. Even though you've given up everything, someone cares enough to pick you up from your disgrace/from your abject misery. Someone rebuilds you, puts you back together, cares for you.

Is that the rationale behind it?

I don't think I ever let myself get to the bottom. I think my fury comes from fighting to stop me landing at the bottom. And you know what... I'm not sure I want to reach the bottom. What if no one did pick me up?

Do you have a take on humiliation? Am I close to understanding the power of it?


  1. I've no idea to be honest Cate.
    I read a 'slave' book a long, long time ago and I can't remember its title. But what I do remember was a reference in the book to The Story of O, which I'm sure you've heard of. I think that's a type of submission/slave book - is it?
    Does humiliation/slavery come under that fantasy or fetish category that I remember discussing in another of your brilliant Friday posts... I imagine there are people who like the idea of giving up all control, but it's not one for me!
    Lily M

    1. Hi Lily,
      I don't know that humiliation comes under a fetish... but maybe it does. It's a strange one to get my head around but I'm hoping I am starting to understand it but still not wanting it!!

      Yes, the Story of O is one of the popular and books in the genre. It was one I read many years ago but I have a copy if you're interested in reading it :)

      It's about a girl learning to be a submissive. She is called "O" because subs don't get names. She is introduced into the world by a boyfriend who hands her on for more training. Her master is Sir Stephen, who she adores. It's basically a walk through all the techniques employed on subs. And I think it's all through her eyes only.

      Maybe I need to re-read it and see if I can understand the humiliation aspect more. Usually I don't find it explained enough so I "get" it - but I wasn't reading this from a writing perspective. Good thinking!!

      Cate xox

    2. You re-read it and if you think it's worth reading, send it through. It will have to wait until I've read The Virginity Mission first of course!