Friday, September 25, 2015

Phallic Friday - losing your mind

I'm at a loss for a topic today. I'm away from home and my smutty mind seems to have been left behind and I don't really know how that happened! How can you leave half of yourself behind?

But there is something on my mind, and I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not for a blog post, but anyway...

I've worked in a male dominated industry all my life, which I've thoroughly enjoyed. I like men. I feel comfortable around them. The only issues have been with the female partners of the men I've worked with - not all, just some. And it's always been a puzzle to me. I'm not stunningly attractive, and mostly these women have been, so a large part of the puzzle has been why they find me a threat. So I've always been a bit wary of being overly familiar with the men I've worked with when I'm with their partners (and overly familiar doesn't mean in a touchy way, just that I'm careful not to talk to the men too much, or know too much about their life, etc).

So, I'm with a friend the other day. She's married. And as strange as this is, she worked with my husband, and I worked with her husband (not directly, but he was in the same line of work), before she and I became friends. Now I think we're better friends than either of us were with the men in our lives.

We're chatting the day after I'd been yacking too much to her husband (we were catching up on work-related things) and I apologised for talking too much shop with him. She laughed and said she didn't care and she was glad that he could talk to me. This was part of a larger discussion about other things - we have quite in-depth character analysis discussions sometimes and I think this is what we'd been talking about.

She said something that's been running around my mind ever since. She said that I don't have any games. I walk up and I'm saying, "This is me, who are you?" and then I ask questions to find out who that person is. She reckons this is why I get along with men because there's no artifice or games they need to wade through. She reckons the women I have problems with are the game-playing women who have mine-field conversations and I don't pick them because they dress and appear like most women - just some dress to play the game, others dress to fit in. (And me, I dress for comfort never fashion, so I don't fit in at all! :) Not that she said that!)

So I've been wondering about this conversation we had and her analysis of my character. And that's been on my mind, so much so that there's no smuttiness available at present! Stay tuned I'm sure it will return :)


  1. I don't know about you, but I think my brain just exploded. I'm very often happiest talking to blokes, usually about footy or cricket. You love your sport too and I think it gives you a common denominator and yes, cut through the bullshit and just talk.

    1. That's kind of how I feel - like my brain is all scrambled trying to process this. Sport, yes, it's always a shock to men when a woman can hold their own in a sport conversation. So yes, you're right there.

      I remember many years ago sitting at Friday arvo beers and there were a lot of the men having their first child and the discussion turned to childbirth. I learned things about men that I've never forgotten. It was a revelation to see how distressing these men found childbirth and the way doctors treated their wives. I sat quietly and when the drinks finished one poor bloke realised I was there. He almost died. But that's a conversation I wouldn't have missed for the world. I loved every second of that afternoon and when they realised that, they stopped worrying. I hope they went home and told their wives their fears and concerns too.

      Yep, cut the bullshit and talk - or listen. It's amazing what you can learn.

      Thanks, Lily.

      Cate xoxo