Sunday Story

I'm griping today. I read a book this week that is not erotic, and maybe more a literary type book than genre, but it could slip into romance. I don't think I'll give the title because I don't want to be an author-basher or completely negative about this book.

There's a female lead character who's 29 and one of the best midwives in the district with almost as much education as a doctor. Okay, so health worker, knowledgeable, expert in her field.

She's pregnant, won't name the father, and has hidden the pregnancy for as long as she can (30 weeks I think it was).

So far, I was doing okay.

But as the book progressed I started to lose it a bit and by the end I was really shaking my head.

Within an eight month period, she has unprotected sex with at least 3 men (2 of whom are sexually active - we know that for sure because it's discussed). The reason for this is that she has PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome) and can't fall pregnant...but I feel it's an author invention, to create uncertainty over the father's identity. Not only that, I feel the author has chosen poorly to do this.

Why isn't this health professional worried about having safe sex to be safe from any other risk factors, like sexually transmitted disease? We don't have safe sex just to stop pregnancy, not now days.

What really irks me is that she's a health professional and highly educated. She should know this. And 2 of the men are also health professionals - why don't they know it too?

To me that's a wrong premise. So wrong.

I know it's a work of fiction, but we're using a real profession, a real education system, and the story is showing that health professionals don't practice safe sex. That's wrong.

It's the wrong message to give to readers.

It's the wrong way to be showcasing health professionals.

I wouldn't be so riled up if these people weren't involved in occupations where they would be very well aware of the possible consequences of unsafe sex. The story relied heavily on showing how accomplished this girl was in her chosen field...yet her life showed the opposite.

Maybe I'm being overly picky because this safe sex thing is a topic I've wrestled with and have adopted (except when I forget and my crit partners notice!) - so maybe I'm a bit like a reformed smoker banging on about the risk factors of smoking. Usually I can glance over it - in this case, I just can't. It's just wrong premise for the chosen characters, in my opinion.

Does this premise bother you?

Phallic Friday - tradies

I'm late, again. So sorry (esp. Lily) but I think I have a good excuse. You see, last night we had electricity issues and I had to shut down way earlier than expected and my post was still in limbo.

A tree came down next door and landed on the power line to their house with such force it ripped their house as the extra wire was dragged out of insulation and fascia board, and then the powerpole moved about 3 inches in the sand and had a 20 degree slope towards our houses. Fortunately our powerline just danced a merry dance as all this happened. And how do I know? Because I was about 2 m from the front door when I heard the snap and as I ran outside the tree hit the ground and I saw the powerlines dancing. So, I turned around and went through the house and out the backdoor, still not knowing what happened. The trees on the other side of us are humungous and I didn't even think of the old Banksia in the other neighbours.

So, anyway, after all that excitement, the electricity mob turned up to sort out our issues. At first I thought the guy was too young and blase to know what he was saying. It seemed like a disaster - live wires on the ground under a tree, us on one side, neighbour on the other, with a precariously balanced pole. Recipe for disaster in my book. But not his. He talked through the options as calmly as if nothing had happened. He called a mate to help with the pole. Then he set to work.

He pulled this baby chainsaw from his ute. We all sniggered - me, Mr E and neighbour. Then he and baby got to work - and could they work! No more sniggering at chainsaw. It cut through that tree like a knife in hot butter. Mr E and I were only just keeping up with his cutting and our removal. And this guy could use his baby. Just as cool as you like slicing. No fuss. No extra energy. Just sweet as. It was a pleasure to watch a master at work.

Then his mate came in the bigger truck. In a little break I asked if this was a common problem. Yep, they get one or two a day! So no wonder it was a well-oiled machine at work here.

Once the tree was chopped and stacked (he did have to use the larger chainsaw for the trunk) they got to work on the pole, shimmying up an extension ladder right to the top to check out the lines and insulators and wedges and stuff. I've no idea, it was almost dark by then, but they had safety harnesses and they tied themselves off to the pole and the ladder was tied to the pole, and it was fascinating! Then they winched the pole straight using the ute-mounted winch. Yep, 1001 things you can do with a winch! If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't believe it. They rammed the sand back in around the pole and voila! It was like nothing had happened.

The tree fell just after 6 pm, by 8.30 pm we were inside with everything fixed. It was amazing. The two guys were incredible - calm, efficient experts. And that made me realise why tradies are so sexy in romance novels - they know what they're doing. They go about their business calmly and in a manner that exudes confidence (even when you think they're daft). They have safety measures but they treat them so matter-of-factly that you accept it as part of the job, nothing special. They do their work - get in, get out - with such efficiency you can't help but be impressed. And that's why tradies make great, sexy, heroes.

I might need to write some tradie stuff now!!

(PS No photos, because it was going on dark, which is a shame. You would have liked them - men and their poles!)

Wildlife Wednesday - more fish

Phallic Friday - libido

This week's article of inspiration can be found here. It's about libido - particular mismatched libido with partners. But then I saw another post (here) which is along a similar theme - about how the happiest couples have sex once a week.

There have been quite a lot of news.com.au articles about the amount of sex you're 'supposed' to have in recent months (I always keep an eye out for such things for Fridays) and they're beginning to really annoy me. One of the things I firmly believe is EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.

Sure someone can sprout forth that the happiest couples have weekly sex, others will turn around and say if they don't have daily sex they're not happy, where others will tell you sex doesn't make them happy. No one is right. Everyone is different.

I've never had a partner with a perfectly matched libido. Some have wanted more sex than I did, some wanted less, but if you're in a relationship, I think one of the keys is discussion, and another, compromise.

The guy who wanted more sex than I could manage was happy with any form of sex - so blow jobs, hand jobs, massages, anything really, were enough to keep him happy. And that kept me happy. I could be inventive and imaginative, in words and actions and his needs were met. Kept me interested and both of us happy.

The guy who wanted less sex than I wanted, well, we found other ways to keep each other happy in the relationship that weren't sexual (talking, walking, shared activities/interests, family) and I had my trusty vibrator for use when he wasn't around (he felt inferior if I used it with him - fair enough).

In both cases, we talked and adapted. Everyone's different and we needed to work around that.

Not only are people different but lots of things affect libido - not only factors in your relationship but factors outside it too. So your sexual needs may change over time, from week to week, or year to year. So long as you're both happy, does it really matter how much sex you have?

I like sex for intimacy and at first, with the guy who wanted lots, I felt much closer to him than to the guy who wasn't so keen on sex. But I realised there were other ways to achieve intimacy than just sex. It did mean a shift in my thoughts, though, and that wasn't an easy task :)

So, whatever your relationship gives you, whatever you're willing to compromise on, whatever you're happy with is exactly the right amount of sex for you. If that's once an hour, once a day, once a month, once a year, or we had sex once, I don't think it matters. Do what's right for you. Everyone's different.

How do you feel?