Team Player ARRA Finalist

A crazy thing happened the other day and in my mad excitement, I haven't posted about it.

TEAM PLAYER was nominated in the ARRA Favourite Erotic Romance category for 2017. You can find the full listing of finalists here.

Other nominees are:

• Egomaniac by Vi Keeland
• Mack Daddy by Penelope Ward
• Sapphire by JA Low

Booktopia are the fantastic sponsors of the award. So if you want to check out any of the other finalists, have a look at Booktopia, let me give you the links for the other erotic titles:
Egomaniac
Mack Daddy
Sapphire
Team Player.

JA Low, me, Donna Gallagher, Cassandra Samuels, and Diane Cassar.

JA Low and I are flying the Aussie and the threesome flags :) I met her at the ARRA-organised Wollongong Writers Festival Sex On The Beach talk in Nov 2016, so to be nominated with her is such fun!

When you're nominated for an award, it's an odd feeling - well, for me anyway.

To have found a connection between my story, my weird imagination, and with readers is incredible.

I know some people who nominated me will be friends, and in a weird way that concerns me, but I hope they haven't just nominated Team Player because of friendship. I hope something about the story resonated with them. I hope it means that Charlie, Lyle and Hannah and their odd relationship was believable. That they liked the people in my head enough to wish them the best, to hope that they have a future, to cheer for them when people might jeer.

This story was born from some confused thoughts after I'd finished Deep Diving. Cooper and Samantha from Deep Diving are heterosexual, and while I was writing that story, I was thinking a lot about relationships with elite athletes and how they might work and how they may affect life beyond the professional one. At the same time, Australians were talking about the same sex marriage debate, which (I felt) was being used as a political tool, which annoyed me. Then I began to wonder about how that might affect someone playing professionally in Australia, especially in a male team sport where to date, no playing athletes have 'come out'. One guy came out after his retirement, which was an incredible thing because he opened up a dialogue and he was a tough player, so it vetoed the 'wimpy' gay male stereotype. I also enjoyed writing Lana, with multiple characters, so I was keen to explore that more. All these thoughts rumbled around in my brain and Team Player came from those.

And it's a threesome story where I didn't want a submissive female character. I wanted a relationship where the three characters held equal roles in the dynamic. I wanted a strong woman who knew what she wanted. I wanted a woman who wasn't blackmailing or conniving, but somehow connected with these two men. I wanted to show a solid relationship that could sneak by public scrutiny, but in doing so, I needed to show how difficult those choices are, without jeopardising the dynamic.

It was a struggle to get what I wanted from my head to the page. I had lots of help from my writing buddies to get things clearer. For all that hard work to be recognised by readers enjoying the story, and then going to nominate it as a favourite erotic read, is beyond incredible. It's humbling, it's exciting, it's wonderful, and it's terrifying.

This writing caper has days that are gold, mixed up with days of black despair and everything in between, but it is the best job in the world :)

Saturday Search - Runes

I fell into Runes in my 20s and I’m not entirely sure how. I hadn’t wanted to look at Tarot or anything clairvoyant, but deep down I knew Runes would be safe - I’ve no idea how I knew that. Or maybe it just came because I had heard ‘bad’ things about other devices and I’d heard nothing of Runes. I don’t know, and ultimately it doesn’t matter. But down that rabbit hole I went!

A few books, some searching, lots of reading, and I needed a set of Runes. But none felt right. So I went and made my own. I lived in a flat without a garden as such, but I’d made a little one along my part of the back fence, and through the fence grew a privet. Armed with a little saw, I chopped off the branches that poked into my yard, then cut up the branch into rounds for my Runes.

My raw, crudely made Runes

I let these dry in the sunshine for a bit. And then I wrote my Runic letters on my tree branch. I always intended to burn the marks on but I never have. I use the same Runes today, without changing a mark! And yes, I know Privet's not a plant I should have used, and I know it's better if they're stone - but these are mine, and that's the most important thing to me.

Although the Runic alphabet bears little resemblance to our alphabet, I felt I had a connection to these letters and I learned what they meant from a book, or ten! In the beginning, I had no understanding of intuition being linked with what I was doing. I thought it was something I had to learn, study, and then pass my daily test as I read my spread. 

I used the Runes mostly when I couldn’t decide something or couldn’t work something out. I’d sit quietly and think of my problem, then pull three (usually) Runes and work on what they meant and how that may relate to the issue I faced.

I refused to use them to ‘tell’ the future. I wouldn’t use them to read for others - in fact, I doubt anyone knew I read them. 

I made a raw silk bag with a leather drawstring in which to keep them. I kept them as natural and basic as I could. I kept the readings focussed on understanding myself and my issues.

You could say they were a tool in helping me decide my life. As a kid I’d often flipped a coin to know what I wanted (and if it fell the wrong way and I had to do best of 3 or best of 5, then I knew what I truly wanted!), and I guess this was the next progression. Something that dug a bit deeper into my psyche.

Have you ever used Runes? How do you use them?

Here's a website with more information if you're curious - https://norse-mythology.org/runes/the-origins-of-the-runes/ 

Sunday Story - romance genre

We've had Valentine's Day, where there seems to be a flurry of reporters having their dig at the romance genre, and this always gets my brain working. But I've also had chats with reader friends who have got my mind going too. So, I need to blog to sort my head out a bit (again!).

I'd never read by sticking to one thing. I read eclectically, picking up anything that grabs my attention. I read award winners, things off a shelf that no one recommends, things friends recommend, or hate. I've belonged to a Book Club for years and read whatever was set for the month. I also belong to a Classics Book Group and read the book that we've chosen there too. I read Mum's books, Dad's books, my books, my sisters' books, friends' books. I have been known to visit someone and pick up a book, and then ask to take it home to finish it. I'll devour anything.

So, in 2006 when I started to write towards publication, deciding what to write was a bit tricky because I read so widely. I didn't quite understand the 'boxes' that publishers put books into, or why these boxes were important. So I straddled boxes. And not sub-genre boxes. I went for the big boxes - like straddling literary and genre.

I learned that you couldn't  straddle boxes because no one knew how to categorise your story, which meant you couldn't be shelved or found by readers. This doesn't sound like a big deal, does it? But when it boils down, publishers don't but your books if they can't market them. Now that I finally understood that, I had to find where I fitted.

I ended up in genre and romance, largely because I could get a lot of help to learn this genre.

Having not been a romance-only reader, I struggled to understand the conventions - actually I still struggle with this.

In broad terms, romance requires a HEA (Happy Ever After) or a HFN (Happy For Now) ending. No cliffhangers, the romance has to be 'concluded' and it has to be a happy conclusion. That seems to be the only real and abiding 'rule' for the genre.

But there are other things that the genre wants. These are:

• an emotional journey
• characters need to change
• language needs to be emotive
• the inner workings of the character(s) minds needs to be shown
• a journey for the romance to follow - which usually includes a 'dark' moment where you think things will never work out

I've struggled with some of these, and still struggle with others.

Emotion took me an eon to understand - well, I knew what emotion was, but getting it onto the page correctly was an almost impossible task for years.

I don't like depicting the inner workings of a male mind because I'm not sure I know how that works, and I fear that I do it in a 'female' way.

I hate the 'dark' moment. I feel like it's a total and complete fabrication. I try to have something, but I cannot 'invent' something to make it as gutting as some authors do.

So...when I hear people say that romance is 'a bit much' or that it's 'formulaic' or that I write well enough to 'do something decent', I get a bit of a burr happening. I don't really know what they mean, and when I question them, they often can't really explain what they meant and they back track a little.

But I think it's these genre conventions that many non-romance readers don't like/understand.

Emotions aren't an easy thing to discuss/face/write/read. A large part of society is focussed on ensuring that we know how to be XXX (whatever emotion here - eg happy, sad, angry, grief-stricken) in the 'right' way. This seems to be a huge industry. And from what I can tell, everyone has a different and unique way of expressing and dealing with emotion. I think that's why so many writers can write about love, and so many readers keep reading it - there are a bazillion ways to 'fall in love'.

But, falling in love is 'soppy'. It's an emotion associated with women. It's an emotion associated with softness, vulnerability, and for some, a time when they let their guard down and were damaged. For some it has lovely memories, and others it hurts.

I think this is why there's backlash against the genre, and it's often not seen as a legitimate form of storytelling.

The formulaic comment, I think applies to the fantasy aspect of romance. It's not written true to life. It's written to tap into higher emotions than we often feel. It exaggerates the good and the bad, yet it always ends well...often after a huge 'pit of despair'. Not all romances do these now, but the stereotype carries over.

And the 'write something decent', I think means literary, but I may be wrong with that. Maybe commercial literary would cover it. But that's a hard market to write for, because the trends change so very quickly. If I wrote what was selling now, by the time I finished, the trend woudl be passed. Literary takes a style and a genius that I have yet to perfect.

I'm happy in romance...my kind of romance...where I don't 'fit' all the rules, but I still find readers and publishers who like my stories.

It's taken me years to learn my craft. Years to understand the intricacies of the genre and the readers' expectations. I don't expect to ever know all of it, but I bend my mind trying to keep on top of it all.
I will probably always get annoyed at those who criticise my choice using cliches that, to me, are ambiguous. I'm not so much annoyed at the criticism, more annoyed that you can't articulate what you mean and have chosen to use, what I feel are, derogatory terms that I've heard many many times before. I'll try to bite my tongue and I'll try not to snarl, but my writing is important to me. This is my career. I am a romance writer.

Saturday Search - gemstones

Samples from my grandparents

I've been a collector of rocks, shells, soil, bugs and odd stuff for as long as I can remember. I suppose it began with shell collecting, which Mum did whenever we went to the beach, and developed. I distinctly remember her parents bringing me rock samples back from Mt Isa when they'd holidayed up there, and I would have been under 10 years old when that happened. These are probably my oldest rock samples in my collection.

Thundereggs

Gypsum (maybe)

I've always collected interesting rocks. But a few years ago, I found a stunning piece of gypsum (I think) in a dry creek bed in central Qld. I think it's one of my favourite pieces. I've bought bits too. When I was in 5th Form, 17 years old, we went up to Yeppoon on holidays and I bought a "thunder egg". I've also bought a piece of amethyst.

Moss Agate, small bowl

I've always wanted to own rocks as jewellery. In my teens, there was a crazy for those coral necklaces (pink mostly) but I wanted a brown one made of rocks. They didn't exist, but Mum found one some years later and bought it for me. Then I've bought small opals and black pearls when travelling around Australia.

Agate, large bowl

Over the years, I've also collected small gemstones as I've seen them and 'felt' that I needed them. And then I've found some rock bowls, and some wooden bowls, and I've a few of those too.

Black pearls

Lately there's been more gemstone jewellery available (I don't know if I've just found it, or the internet has opened up this interest market). I seem to be collecting more and more gemstones.

Amethyst

And now there's this whole industry of using gemstones to 'help' with life. It's really quite phenomenal. When I look at my collection, I'm rather attracted to the colours black, white and light blue.

Black: generally black stones are protection stones. They protect you from negative energies. They also indicate death, earth, stability. Black conceals.

White: purity and cleanliness. Kindness. Openness, truth, wholeness, completion. White reveals.

And technically, black and white aren't true colours but reflection/adsorption of all colours.

Blue: sky, ocean, space. It's a cooling and calming colour. It depicts space. It's about solitude, peace.

My collection case

Now, I own more colours and I like picking them up to help me think. Sometimes I'll pick up a particular stone and carry/wear it for the day to help me with whatever I need to do. I don't really know what the gemstones mean, if I have to know I need to look it up. But I don't need to know what someone tells me they mean, I just let my intuition pick what I need...it's been working for me for many years now, so no point changing a good thing!

Some stones, rocks, sticks, nests and soil

Are you into rocks or stones?