Friday, November 14, 2014

Phallic Friday - a little rant

I need to vent a little today. It's a 'debate' that's been going on for a while but recently ignited by Bianca Dye and Ricki-Lee Coulter. This is what I read - you can click here - an article where Bianca Dye was asking Ricki-Lee to reconsider her comments about not wanting children and asking her to freeze her eggs.

What bugs me the most about this 'debate' is the fact that people seem to think the children-choice is a debate. It's a personal choice. That means, it's up to the individual to make a decision - their decision.

It's mostly among women too, which bugs me even more. Men are rarely asked when they're having kids, or if they want kids. Why this discrepancy? Are women only here to provide children? Don't women have another role to play in the world?

I love kids. I think they're the best fun out. I spent years working with kids in my spare time, and enjoyed every minute of it. But it also made me realise kids weren't on my agenda. I love them, but I have never wanted the responsibility of having my own. At eighteen I was quite vocal about this. I have never changed my opinion but I'm no longer vocal! I've had lots of people around me have kids, and I've never got that clucky gene.

I've spent years with people quizzing me about my decision, arguing with me against my decision, and trying to persuade me to change my mind.

I was lucky, when I was growing up I had great aunts who didn't have children. I never saw them as 'lesser' people for that choice/issue. They had amazing lives as their own person and I always valued that. When I was in my 20s, a cousin said that she felt less valued than her siblings because of her child-free state. I'd never felt that in my immediate family and I still don't. But I must have grown up with different people to the norm because even some of my school friends don't have children now.

I'm closer to 50 than 40, and my decision has never bothered me. I don't regret not having kids, in fact, I'm very glad I've been able to do the things I've done and live the life I have.

I don't have a problem with people who do have children. In fact, I like to borrow their kids occasionally for silly movies, fun shows, carnival rides, you know, stuff you really need to do with a kid so people don't look at you strangely!!

I think it's time women stopped discussing other women's choices and let people live their own life!

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