I had a thing many years ago when M/M sex was a complete turn on. I've no idea why, and nothing really happened to spark this, but it was a phase I went through. I was single, had money (must have been between horses!), and bought a few M/M porn videos (I told you it was a while ago!) to watch. This may seem strange, but as a single woman, watching another woman didn't do anything for me. I like men, so this M/M thing seemed to make sense to me. And heterosexual porn is all cunt shots designed for male viewing.
I've always steered away from writing M/M because I don't really understand men, or men's emotions, or men's needs and wants. Sure I could guess at it but I don't really know, so I've never felt compelled to write it. But holy guacamole, some of these women who write this stuff must never have seen M/M porn, men in action, or had anal sex and enjoyed it. It does my head in that they'd write M/M when they're clearly writing a female story with added penises.
Take this for example - these aren't direct quotes, just what I remember:
The problem with having gay sex was that everything took so long. You had to use lube, lots of lube, and then stretch the anus before you could penetrate.
You do? Okay, the lube helps, but you can have rough sex without it. You can use spit, which is always handy. And there's no need to use your fingers first. Sure you can, but it's not a prerequisite, anuses are muscles just like other openings. You can push in. And if you're into anal sex, your anus can anticipate and be relaxed and ready to accept.
Men who speak like women, sometimes with an added swearword to make him male. Like, "Oh, sweetie, I just love you so damn much." or "Come here and give me your big, hard cock, baby."
Men speak like this? No man I know does. Maybe I mix with wrong men but this sounds like women, soppy women. I don't believe these types of M/M dialogues.
The story arc is: one of the men always penetrates the other, then when they finally declare their love, he lets himself be penetrated.
Seriously? Their love is all about penetration? Would you have that as a resolution in a M/F book? I know we used to - when they got married and finally had sex - but haven't romance stories grown past that love before sex thing? And is all men's love based on sex? Surely there are emotions involved. Strong emotions - I've seen the fallout from broken relationships, it's not much different to my female friend's devastation.
The story arc is: one man is strong and tough, the other emotional. When the strong tough man breaks and cries, then they're totally in love, to live happily ever after.
Emotional awakening is not a bad character arc, but when it's men howling like a baby, I don't buy it. Strong men can be emotional and open up without howling. Does it need to be so obvious - and so obviously female?
Maybe I'm being deliberately snarky about it...but I can't recall a M/M written by a woman when I thought it was authentic, when I could believe the characters and the story and the sex. I've heard that M/M stories are written for women by women...by why? Why do you want the extra penises added on two characters who are clearly women (or at least one is)? Is it an escapism fantasy thing?
In May, there's a M/M book coming out written by a man. I'm looking forward to that. I want to see how he writes. And hopefully I won't have to delete this post, or eat my words (I am only a woman looking in on an all male world!) :)