Sunday Story - author talks

I'm just home after attending an author talk...and I'm a little horrified to say the least. I need to debrief.

I see an author talk as a publicity/promo opportunity, so you're selling not only yourself but your stories. I think this author felt the same because they started by thanking the host for that opportunity. And then I got lost. The author had notes - pages of them - but the talk was a waffle fest.

I know about the author's parents, and early life. They spoke of their career, and how and why they wrote their first book. And then I got lost. There were two books out and we seemed to swing between one and then the other. There wasn't a timeline, so although I could see book one on the table, the author never told us how it came to be there. When they spoke of this book, it had been rejected by many agents, including a film option. I could guess from the process that it was a time ago, but was never sure when - until right at the end. It was written 30 years ago, self-published last year (still no clue how this happened).

And Book 2, I can't tell you what that was about. I know it's book 1 in a 4-book series, and I know there are 15 characters and although that's been criticised, it was necessary. As to the story line, I have no idea.

Someone asked the author about the editing services provided by Amazon. The author responded by saying that for the first book, editing was fabulous. There was a package and it just did it. For the second book, it was a fight to get it done, but eventually someone called CreateSpace did it, but sadly, they used American spelling and punctuation. There are commas put in American places. And out of 108 000 words, 200 were changed to Americanisms. (To them 200 was a huge number of words; I was shocked it was so few). The author then said how fabulous the promo was on Amazon because if you typed in author and book name, you got all this information about the book, including reviews.

I was cringing in my seat by now. Amazon doesn't offer an editing service because it isn't a publishing house. In effect, all Amazon is, is an electronic bookshop. CreateSpace is an environment where you can turn your book into a printed form and it can be sold through Amazon. The American punctuation beat me completely but it could be commas after dialogue, a publishing thing not an American thing. And Amazon's promo - dear lord, that's just how the book is listed for every book on there. If you want promo, you need to pay for that.

I was horrified to see someone giving such a talk to people who wanted to be writers. I've sat in talks like that before and you believe what someone tells you because 'they're published'. But this author didn't have a clue about the industry, and was offering incorrect information.

I can never say anything in this situation. I cringe and wish I was elsewhere. But so much is being said with authority, that isn't right...and so I should have the guts to stand up and say that. Although, maybe it's up to the audience to be discerning. I just don't know what to do in these situations.

But I'm ever so grateful to RWA for the education I've received in the past 8 years. I wouldn't be published if I hadn't joined this amazing group. I wouldn't know half what I know without becoming involved.

If I ever give an author talk, please let me remember not to waffle and not to speak on things I don't understand.

Have you ever been in this situation? What have you done?

Phallic Friday - inspiration

I get all sorts of inspiration in all places - even the craziest thing might spark something in my mind. You probably know from the range of weird posts you find on here from time to time - oh, okay, every week then!

Lately I've been inspired to raunchy thoughts by a bloke (strange I know ;) ). I've no idea what it is about him that makes me think of sex. I wouldn't say he's attractive, but he has some way of looking at me, some intensity in the gaze, that flicks ideas into my head. And no, he doesn't look like Cooper Cronk or Peter Sterling!!

And then on my recent holidays, we went on a helicopter flight and the pilot's job got me thinking story ideas and I mixed that up with my raunchy thoughts.

Inspiration happens at the weirdest moments.

Anyway, a helicopter pilot would be a fun kind of job - it has a Top Gun element which makes it even more fun. I'm a fan of that movie especially the bar scene where Kelly McGillis gives Tom a serve after he thinks he's God's gift to women - crash and burn! :)

Anyway, what if the pilot had a look that made the heroine think of sex? And what if they hooked up? And the sex was hot so they stayed together. What if she hadn't factored in caring about him and thought she was only there for the sex and the travel? And what if... and what if... There are so many story lines.

There you go, inspiration for a new story!

Do you ever get inspired about sex?

Wildlife Wednesday - more bugs

I've been on a holiday - a driving holiday - and I loved it because I got to tick things off my bucket list and I saw some awesome places!

We drove around the coast of Victoria, the state in south-eastern Australia. We didn't do every town and peninsula, but we did something like 3500 km in 9 days. Mr E loves driving - me, I prefer to be sedentary, but I do love to check out new places...and sometimes that means driving lots and lots and lots!

Anyway, along my travels, we stayed in a farm house near Timboon (which is just off the coast, north of Port Campbell where the 12 Apostles are on the Great Ocean Road). I was pretty shattered because me and winding roads are not good friends and we'd done a lot of winding roads that day, so a farm house was perfect (even though it was an extra 20 km of winding road - but there was no room in town!). The farm house was old, and huge, and all for us. They were doing up the gardens and in need of fresh air and space, I went exploring. I'm pretty fond of farms, and gardens, so this was a joy.

There were heaps of these bugs on roses but they hid beneath the leaves and made photos tough. I tried and took a lot, but none were much good. So in disgust, I walked away. A few garden beds later, here they were on gorgeous open blooms, in sunshine, looking spectacular.

I thought they looked like a variation of the Harlequin Bug (Dindymus versicolor) but I wasn't sure. Now I just did a google and it looks like they might be a juvenile instar of the Harlequin Bug (one of the growth stages before it makes an adult). You can check it out here.

So, I had a lovely trip and got a great story idea...might talk about that on Friday/Sunday...and I loved catching bugs with my camera! It made a good contrast to the scenery. Here are the 12 Apostles (named this even if there aren't 12 of them, and never were!), and me being blown away there (with random tourists)!

Phallic Friday - sex and numbers

How often do you think about sex?
How many times a day/week/month/year do you have sex?
How many partners have you had?
How many orgasms?
How many...
How often...
How big...
How small...
How...

We're a bit of a society obsessed by numbers and answers and being 'normal'. We compete to be 'the best' by doing the most, or going the furthest, or lasting the longest. We have to fit a mould or risk being different.

Is it just me noticing that this is getting worse?

I've always been a thinker on that Meyers-Briggs personality thing...but with sex, I'm a feeler. I think if there was a personality sex test, I'd be not a thinker at all. Numbers don't bother me. I don't try to compete. I'm more into how it feels.

I don't have a set number of times I think about sex - some days it might be heaps, some days it might be not at all (okay, maybe just a few times then).

I don't have a set amount of sex that I require daily/weekly/monthly/annually.

I don't keep count of sexual partners. I'm not even sure what is the definition of a sexual partner - do you have to have penetrative sex to be a partner? And only once, or does it need to be more often?

I'm not sure I know how big, or how often, or how small, or how many.

Am I just weird?