Phallic Friday - Margaret Court's comments

Have you heard about the tennis legend, Margaret Court's views on marriage? It's been in Australian media and there's an article here if you're interested.

She wrote an open letter to express her views on gay marriage. As a pastor of a Church, and a conservative older Australian, I'm not entirely shocked by her views - they are ones many in my family hold and espouse. If she wasn't a tennis legend, and didn't have a sporting arena named in her honour, I imagine it would have gone unnoticed.

I'm surprised that someone of her standing in sport, would take such a public stance on a topic that surely she knew would cause issue. Although, maybe that's exactly why she wrote the letter. Maybe she wanted to use her name to back her views.

It's natural that we pick up the views of those we associate with and think they're the views of the majority. For us, they are the views of the majority, even if that's not reflected in the wider community. Often we don't know the views of the wider community because of our isolation, or insular living. This seems to be exacerbated when you become older, more established, and mix less widely. It's also exacerbated by social media where you friend like-minded souls and don't branch out.

I've always liked differences. I like to see other's views. I like to think about options someone might present to me. I like to be exposed to new things, to try them out, to think about them. That's my personality.

I remember as a kid saying, "But everyone will do that, I want something different." Mum used to roll her eyes, and sometimes try to rein me in a little, but mostly my parents let me be different - for which I'm very grateful.

I hope as I get older that I keep trying to be open to differences and not close up.

I often speak without thinking, and sometimes reflect views that I later, after thought, regret.

We are each entitled to an opinion. We live in a democracy where opinion is valued. Sometimes opinions can open a can of worms, and often the opinion-maker was unaware of that before speaking.

I hope Margaret Court was aware of what she was saying and the ramifications of her views. I hope she realised that the world is a changing place, and as an older citizen she may no longer represent the majority.

Opening a can of worms, without knowing, is my biggest fear every time I have an opinion because I hate confrontation.

How are you with voicing your views?

Wildlife Wednesday - flathead

Is it big enough to keep?

As well as the Giant Toadfish, Dad and I caught some more identifiable and useful fish in the river a couple of weeks ago.

Flathead are one of my favourite fish to catch because they give you a good fight when you're pulling them in.

Here are some of the flathead we caught. In NSW, flathead have size restrictions, so here's Dad with his trusty measuring stick checking the size of the fish I caught.

There are different types of flathead - we caught Dusky Flathead. Duskies have to be over 36 cm, and if it's over 70 cm, you may only keep one. Bag limit is 10 fish.

Hook removal and underbelly

If the flathead was a bluespotted or tiger, then they only need to be 33 cm long to be potable. Still a bag limit of 10.

If you're interested in NSW saltwater fish limits, the DPI has them here. To fish in NSW, you also require a fishing license, unless you're a child or a senior.

Dusky Flathead are found in estuaries and bays, and can be found over sand, weed, silt, mud, gravel. They often vary in colour depending on habitat. And they have wicked spines, so be careful handling them. It's not just the obvious spines down the midline of the front and back, but at the sides of their head, there's kind of a tip of bone, and there are wickedly sharp, pointy spines there too that hurt like blazes if they catch you.

Dad told me that if the spines get you, you should rub the underbelly across the wound to stop it hurting - not sure if that works because the fish that spiked him as he was releasing it, jumped out of the net a little too soon for first aid to occur.

Top view

Two before release

I'm not a huge fan of eating flathead - mostly because of the bones. But flathead tails are exquisite and they don't have so many bones.

Do you have a favourite fish?

Football - State of Origin Game 1

State of Origin was on during the week, so I thought after my rants last year that I should say some good things for a change!

NSW picked a team that I was much happier with - less hothead and blowhards, more professional footy players - and a captain who lets his football speak for him. Boyd Cordner leads by example, and sets a good example.

I was hopeful that they might win, or at least have a great game, especially given the injuries and missing players Qld had. They overshot my expectations.

The NSW team played like a bunch of absolute professionals. It was impressive, and a really good turn about from the last decade of teams.

Unfortunately, the NSW media the last few days have been a bit tough to take, claiming NSW thrashed Qld and spruiking a new dynasty.

I didn't see the game like that. Sometimes I wonder if I watched a completely different game.

My nephew could only watch the first half of the game, so I messaged him some random comments through the second half so he didn't miss out completely (he's a Tigers and Aaron Woods fan). Strangely enough, my messages reflect the game I saw and the view I have that NSW were lucky, and, admittedly, created their own luck too by being a really solid team. They backed each other up. They worked together. They each did their job.

My messages (on right) show 4 potential tries for Qld, 3 of those in the last 10 minutes. If Qld get these tries, any of them, it could have made it a very very different game, possibly even result.

Tedesco made 2 try saving tackled.
Dugan whacked the ball from Guerra's hands.
Cordner and Dugan hold up Boyd.
Tedesco wraps up a kick.

Given in the first half that there were a couple of NSW tries that involved luck (like Fafita's one where O'Neill coughed up the ball), I think NSW were lucky to win. Yes, they played well, yes, they deserved to win, but I don't see a thrashing here.

I saw a great game. I saw a big improve from the Blue. I saw areas where Qld can, and will, improve.

I'm looking forward to a fantastic Game 2!

If you watched, how did you see the game?

Phallic Friday - gay men and football

I just read an article on news.com.au that prompted this post. I was wondering what I could write! This is the article here.

The article, by Matt Young, is about why he can't consider attending a football (league or soccer) game. He's a flamboyant gay man and he fears being in a testosterone-laden crowd where terms such a "f**got" and "p**f" are common shouted in abuse.

He also links to an article about a country AFL player who came out as gay, which is here.

This topic interests me because this is what I explored in Team Player, out sometime soonish.

As an avid league fan, I wrote Deep Diving with a MF relationship, mostly because I had been sitting at the footy daydreaming. But while I was writing it, and watching players interacting, and sifting through social media for inspiration, I was struck by a thought - what if a player was gay?

I knew that being gay wasn't something that the sporting media, and public, would be very receptive about. I struggled to imagine how an elite player would ever 'come out' and continue playing at the elite level because the scrutiny on them would be immense and possibly crippling. I imagine that some team mates would not take kindly to the information, and that could make it even more difficult for a gay player.

Women don't seem to have such a strong homophobic reaction, so I imagine that women would be more intrigued or nurturing...although, some women would be as bad as some men.

So I began to think about a male-male relationship in rugby league and how the guys might try to hide their sexuality and their relationship. Then I wondered how an alpha male might feel if he was attracted to a younger team mate, who was gay and interested in him, yet he'd not acknowledged his bisexuality before.

My mind went crazy thinking up scenarios and issues and Team Player fell out of my thoughts.

But in all my imaginings, I struggled to believe that a gay guy could continue to play an elite team sport after his sexuality was known. And this is largely because of the issues Matt Young talks about in his article - it's a testosterone-fuelled environment. It's a homophobic environment. It's an environment where spectators, and player to some extent, don't think about their expletive-laden, politically incorrect, verbal attacks on players, referees, other spectators.

Depending on where you sit in a footy crowd, it may not be the family-friendly environment that you hope. It can be rude, crude, and embarrassing. It can be scary. It can be horrifying. It can be some place you need to remove yourself from. I don't think that's improving either. And it's not the majority of spectators - it's a few who ruin the game for everyone.

We go to the games near us, we have season tickets, and so do many of the people around us. They're generally good, nice people. Last time, the MIL came and had a ticket a bay away from us but early on sat with us. When she went to find her correct seat, the family behind us said they had a spare and she was welcome to stay the row behind. Lovely people - kind and generous. But they did call the opposition by a variety of names through the game, none of which were politically correct, or something you'd want kids hearing or saying (yes, they have kids of their own!).

Sometimes, I think people don't notice what they say in the heat of the moment - and they parrot what others say. So, 'w*nker', 'p**ftah', 'f*ggot', 'd*ckhead', etc are all yelled, often without malice, but also without thinking of the impact those words have on the people in earshot.

I understand why Matt Young would be hesitant to attend a game - you've no idea who you'd be sitting near, and that can be concerning. It takes a long, long time to change people's attitudes, so I think it will be a long time before we have openly gay men in elite team sports, and probably a long time before all people feel comfortable in a passionate sporting crowd. Which is a shame, because some people at the footy are great. And maybe if you've been going from a when you were a kid, you become somewhat immune to the yobbos.

Have you ever felt unsafe in a sports crowd?