Phallic Friday - sleeping

I hope I'm not the only person in the world to have a fetish for sleeping. I love snuggling into my bed for lots of zzzzs...

but today's fetish isn't that.

It's about watching someone sleep, somnophilia.

I have to say that I don't get this one but I've been trying to understand it.

I'm a night owl, so I'm often awake (and usually reading when I should be writing) long after Mr E goes to sleep. So lately I've been watching him and thinking about this fetish...but I'm still not understanding it. I need reciprocation, or at least response, for arousal.

I've thought back to my young years when I first slept with a man, and I do remember the thrill of waking up and watching him sleep. His face relaxed, his lashes lying on his cheek, his eyes flicking beneath lids as he dreamed (of me I always hoped!), his lips softened and almost smiling, his body relaxed, or sometimes curled up a little which was so cute on such a tough guy. But I think that mental catalogue lasted a few moments.

This fetish is more about getting off on the watching. Not looking and thinking they're cute... but taking that further to sexual arousal.

All I can imagine is that it's a sexual arousal from the vulnerability that comes with sleep. No one sleeps when they're 'on guard' and so to sleep with someone watching, you must be exhausted, or trust the person. And that's an aphrodisiac - trust.

But reading around the internet, there are lots of reasons why people have this fetish, and some have it linked with another fetish too. One guy said he was shy and used this to overcome his shyness - although he never had intercourse with the sleeping/unconscious woman, just touched, maybe oral, but usually just looking and sniffing and light touching. Reddit has a huge amount of fetish discussion.

There's an interesting website with some research about different fetishes too. It has an article on somnophilia. It's not explicit, more scientific. You can access it here.

Have you got any somnophilia insights for me?

Wildlife Wednesday - Southern Shortfin Eel

We've had some rather wild weather of late and after it, we found an eel washed up on the beach. I'm not sure if someone caught it and left it there, or if it washed up on the beach.

So, the trusty Australian Museum website has some info here and a short video.

It usually lives in freshwater and mature eels migrate to the sea to spawn. Young eels return to freshwater to live.

They grow to about 1m length, which this one was close to. So I guess this was a mature eel heading off to spawn. We do have a river quite close to us, but this eel was definitely washed up on the beach.

I wonder if the rough weather got it? Or was it old age? Or did a fisherman play a part?

So much stuff is washed onto the beach after rough weather. Most of it rubbish, but there are heaps of soft corals, shells, stones and all sorts of things we don't get in calm seas. It makes a walk on the beach a photographic smorgasbord :)

Sunday Story - the Baumgartners

Selena Kitt writes really gritty sex. Sometimes it's a bit confronting, but I think it's always raw. I noticed she had a couple of freebies on iTunes the other day, so of course, they fell onto my iPad.

Meet the Baumgartners was the first one. I enjoyed it for the gritty rawness of the story.

The second one was Babysitting The Baumgartners. When I started it, I thought it was a bit weird...but then it got me. It's about 10 years after the first book, so the couple who hooked up in the first story, are now married with kids...and a babysitter.

The babysitter is nineteen, just becoming sexually aware, although not a virgin. She goes away with the family on a holiday to 'mind the children' but the Baumgartners have other plans for her.

This book reminded me of one of my favourite classics, Philosophy in the Bedroom by the Marquis deSade. It's an older couple educating a young girl.

It's really cleverly written from the girl's point of view, but she overhears and sees so many things she shouldn't, that we get to see how the couple feel too.

I thoroughly enjoyed this story for it's raw grittiness, clever writing, and hot hot sex.

https://itunes.apple.com/au/book/babysitting-baumgartners/id841165718?mt=11

Phallic Friday - golden showers and scat play

So, this fetish is not for the squeamish. Stop reading now if you're not into bodily functions.

I'm squeamish. I don't do bodily fluids. So this one's not something I'd be keen on playing with.

Golden showers are all about urination. Scat play is all about poo.

I'm not entirely sure what the thrill is with these - and it's probably different for each person. Maybe it's the taboo nature. Maybe something about the sharing and intimacy. Maybe it's related to the humiliation.

Taboo nature: some people get off on being 'dirty' and doing something 'wrong'. Some like trying something that's beyond the norm. Scat and golden showers fall into these categories. There's quite a lot of discussion on the internet about this nature of the fetish.

Intimacy: sex is all about intimacy. Joining of two people. Exploring another's body. Knowing what turns someone on. This takes it further. You're not just sharing sexual bodily fluids, but sharing bodily fluids that others don't ever share. When you share another's urine and faeces, there isn't a lot you don't know about the person. And it's a huge trust issue too...you're moving into territory where trust violation can be a serious threat to your health, and also your lifestyle. Of the reasons, this one makes sense to me. There are very few people who I'd trust so much. And sharing something as intimate as this, would need a lot of trust on my part.

Humiliation: I'm not into humiliation. Even seemingly innocuous humiliation gets me furious - we had a discussion about this at Book Club last month where I realised how adamant I am against humiliation. I was shocked at my stance on something simple (a memoir where the author had shared embarrassing things about her children's childhood), that others didn't think was a big deal. So, although I know that people enjoy being humiliated (and humiliating), and they take sexual pleasure from it...I can't get my head around it. I can't understand it in the simplest form, let alone a sexually intricate form. Humiliation makes me turn in on myself, hide myself from the world. It doesn't come close to getting me off. But, if you like humiliation, this is kind of the ultimate, isn't it? Especially when it's 'forced' or 'commanded', and even more so when it involves swallowing.

Maybe there are other reasons that this fetish is sexually arousing but that's all I could find in my hunting. Do you have any other ideas?