Friday, January 25, 2019

Fearless Friday - change

Change. Fear of change.

Changing anything can cause panic or worry or anxiety in many, because change is going into the unknown, and that often brings fears.

I've never had terrible fear of change, but I've always been over cautious about it! I plan changes and have contingency plans too!

But right now, I'm going through some weird, unplanned change. I'm becoming a morning person!

It's a complete and utter shock - to me and everyone else I know. It hasn't been a conscious change, just something that's happened this year. And yes, I know it's only been a few weeks, but it's a HUGE change for me.

This change has had no fear attached to it - because I had no intention of changing. And to make a change without fear is incredibly refreshing.

I can count on maybe both hands the number of sunrise photos I have. This is quite different to my sunset photos which are too numerous to count (I'm talking 1000s). But I took this photo on 6.05 am. I know, insane! And I woke before my alarm, which was set for 5.45 am. I never wake before I have to - or at least I didn't!

I don't know if it's some amazing Chinese herb in my tea, or just that I'm feeling better, or if the yoga meditation I've been going to on Monday mornings has rejigged my system. Whatever it is, I feel like a new person.

I used to do mornings - when camping, for working especially in summer, for special events - without too much hassle. I have never truly enjoyed them, but I did them fairly uncomplainingly.

Then I got Ross River Fever and I could sleep all day, every day. Mornings became something I never saw (but I rarely saw anything at all for a while there). Mornings were a pain in the arse because people made noise, so much noise, and disturbed me when I was trying so hard to sleep and recharge and find some energy. I juggled my life so I could sleep when I needed to, but I was never rested. I never felt rejuvenated or truly alive. Each day was an effort.

Over the last year or so, I've been seeing an acupuncturist/Chinese herbalist, and my health's been improving. I've also been doing a lot of other alternative practices, like energy healing, meditation, mindfulness, grounding, self awareness, past life exploration. I've pretty much tried anything that crossed my path a few times - and this isn't new, I've always been a dabbler in these 'odd' things. It's just that this time, they've had a huge impact.

I hope that these early mornings are a sign of improvement. I hope they signify that my health is getting better. I hope I can keep enjoying every day, and living with more joy.

And I hope I can write more!!!!!

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