Friday, January 18, 2019

Fearless Friday - turning ideas to action

I'll remain clothed for today's fearless post :)

I have ideas. They sprout in my head all the time. Often when I'm talking with friends, ideas just seem to snowball until we're laughing about our craziness. Do you ever have that happen?

I watched my niece recently and she's full of ideas. The interesting thing with her is that she doesn't hesitate. "Let's do this..." she says and then does it. Sometimes her ideas come on the fly and she follows them. She's 7 and I suspect this won't last much longer. I remember my nephew being similar and at 11, he's much more circumspect now.

In some cases, it's a good idea to second guess your ideas. Crossing the street without looking is something kids do, until they learn to look, because there can be consequences. Sometimes serious consequences.

I suspect I've become a lot more stagnant than I should be. I can twist myself up in a bazillion knots as I examine ideas from every side I can, determining if they're "good". And my definition of "good" has become a lot more focussed that it used to be. In the past good often meant fun, but now it means all sorts of things (like safe, financially sound, a decent return of time/investment, not open to argument from others) and fun is way down the list.

Occasionally I'm still impetuous. Often this results in deleterious events - or so I'm reminded each time I think of being spontaneous! Like last week I was on the beach playing with my niece and nephew and I bolted out of the water as they chased me, and PING!, this muscle in my hip decided it didn't like such activity. So I've been hobbling for a week - and those around me are constantly pointing out that I need to "act my age", not be so silly, and to be "realistic" about the games I play with kids. But heck, what fun is missed if I didn't just spontaneously run or play or act?!?

Same with stories. I have ideas and then I'm frozen as I examine all the implications.

A few years ago, I wanted to write about breath control during sex. But when I mentioned it, I was reminded of the danger in that, and about Michael Hutchence's death, so I have never done it.

My Past Lives story got panned in a workshop because there were too many 'as if' to believe. I went away and did years of searching and researching and most of my 'as ifs' were truths for past lives and soul mates. Without knowing anything about those 'beliefs' I could write things others believe in. Yet, rather than publish that story, I've let it sit and mould on my computer because I let my fear of failure or fear of ridicule stop me acting.

I have an idea for kids' oracle cards, and for a year I've been sitting on it, because I fear I don;t know enough to do that. I fear I don't have knowledge, or understanding, or skills, or a platform, or every other thing under the sun!

I need to get over these fears.

I need to act.

Maybe not every time, because I still need to watch out for cars on the street! But I do need to do things, more than sit on my thoughts and stagnate.

Am I alone in this weirdness? Do you do this?

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