Friday, February 14, 2014

Phallic Friday - gay footy player?

So...Naughty Ninjas launch today!! WooooHooooo!!

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Now, to my Phallic Friday thoughts...

I just read this news article (you can read it here) about a college football player in the US who is openly gay (he's 24) and wants to play in the NFL. There's uproar! Apparently having an openly gay man playing football will upset the locker room, the team, the fans, etc etc etc.

Oh My!

I thought America had a much more tolerant attitude to homosexuals than Australia - largely because of the acceptance of gay marriage and the acceptance of high profile gay people. But wow. This is making me re-think my views on America.

It's always confused me that erotica is fine in some parts of the US and under the carpet in other parts. That sometimes our Aussie covers are deemed too risque for the US market. That sometimes our book titles are too confronting. And yet... America is supposed to be the home of democracy and choice.

Yet, with this story comes a whole heap of other sides.

It's not that much different to here - so long as it's not in my backyard, it's okay! I hate that attitude.

It's got to be okay with individuals on a one-on-one level first before it's okay in the big wide world.

Until people can be comfortable with other people, acceptance on a societal level will never happen. And that's sad.

When I was just out of school, I had a job where I worked (and spent a lot of time out of work at sport and social events) with a lot of gay women. Being young and naive, I didn't know they were gay for a very long time. And when I first found out, I freaked (not in front of them - but at home by myself). I knew a lot of gay men and I was totally okay with the homosexual thing. But when it's women, and you could be the target of their 'crazy lust', it puts a whole different spin on things. And I did take a while to work out for myself that if they hadn't in their 'crazy lust', had their wicked way with my naive, innocent self...then they were unlikely to push themselves on me when I knew they were gay. My knowledge, or lack of it, made no difference in the scheme of things. So after a few days of soul-searching, I realised I was being an idiot. They were my friends, gay or straight. It made no difference.

Since then I've lived in country towns with gay couples in the town. I know there's a superficial level of acceptance but sometimes there's fear of the unknown too. People make snide jokes, people worry about being 'corrupted', people talk behind their backs. It's not quite as acceptable as we like to pretend.

I think we have to make personal changes before anything will change. Each person need to look at their thoughts, examine facts, rationalise their way of thinking and see if they're right or if they need to change their attitude.

Will there ever be equality? What are your thoughts?


  1. Do you remember the drama a few years back when Jason Akermanis (AFL player) brought the subject up ... something along the lines that if you were gay in the AFL, don't say anything because your 'team mates' wouldn't be able to think of you as the same?
    Also check this link:
    Sometimes I think we take big steps on this subject... other times, I don't think we've come anywhere at all.
    For me? I'm a live and let live kind of person.

    1. Yes, I do remember that, Lily. And in rugby league, Ian Roberts declared he was gay...but only after he retired, and at that time there was some relief that he had not said anything earlier.

      It's strange isn't it that things take a step forwards and two back. I did see that party invitation post too. Sometimes I don't know what to say!

      Live and let live is a great way to be. Shame more people can't do that!

      Cate xo