I just finished reading The Yearning by Kate Belle, which I totally loved, but it got me thinking (way too much I fear!). There are a lot of themes in The Yearning but I'm going to focus on the promiscuity aspect - and not the book which I think will be Sunday's Story (if I can get my thoughts together).
Having multiple sex partners, or a multitude of partners, (and I don't mean at the same time) is not a society-friendly way to be... and yet, I don't see anything wrong with it so long as you're up-front about it. Sure, it's not easy in the day of AIDS, STDs, etc. but I find it refreshing to meet people who are around for a short time not a long time.
I'm not a good conformer (nor a good rebel but that's another story) and one thing I was never interested in was marriage (yeah, I know, I capitulated, but again, that's a different story) because I'm not sure we're designed to be monogamous (or maybe that's just me).
One of the problems I had with 'playing the field' is that you need a lot of confidence, or you need to be good looking or rich, and I wasn't any of those! I also remember having people (even friends) making negative comments about there being no steady boyfriend.
I've had friends who have been so good at the multiple partner thing. I learned from them. When I was at uni, I worked with a bunch of people and there was this girl who brimmed with confidence - and went home with different men each Friday night. I admired her immensely. Later I found out she was gay, and I suspect all the men were a smoke-screen... but I never had the courage to ask her! LOL I might have admired a fake!
Some time later I met a guy who had promiscuity down to a fine art. He and his mates were legendary. They never promised more than the moment and I respected them for that - they were always upfront about it. Over the years, I've watched them pull women, I've heard about numerous conquests, and I've lost count of the number of partners I know about. In amongst all the short term sex, there have been long-term girlfriends. I now think they've always been looking for the right life-partner but never finding the right person. They have some horror tales of what bitches women can be. In the last few years they've all gotten married, which I have to say caught me totally and completely by surprise. I didn't think they ever aspired to marriage. I'm not 100% sure they've given up all the short term partners but they're happy in family life.
When they gave in and went to the dark side (marriage :)) I began to wonder if there really is happiness, or fulfillment or whatever it is you need from life, in having a constant drift of partners in your life. I always thought it was a valid choice and a choice I'd have been happy to make (had I been more successful at it!). Maybe there's something to finding someone right for you and conforming to monogamy.
My thoughts are totally scattered - it's that damn book! Hopefully I can pull them together by Sunday!
Do you have any thoughts?