Friday, July 21, 2017

Phallic Friday - sex-free

You might know there are two of me writing - Cate, who you know, and the clean no sex, no swearing other me.

I've a deadline for the other me - end of July - and so I'm rushing to re-write my draft in time to meet the deadline. And because it's clean sweet me...OMG...I'm clean and sweet.

Every time I fall into the clean stories, all smuttiness exits my head, especially when under time constraints.

I don't know how that happens - it's like my brain clicks from one side to the other.

When I start my clean stories, I have to write in the swearing, and then rewrite by consciously taking it out! By the end of the clean story, I'm not even thinking of swearing.

The same goes with sex. I have these raunchy things popping into my head at the start. Now that I'm closer to the finish of the second writing of the story, I have debates with myself along the lines of - "Should they kiss here, or does that ruin the flow of the relationship?"


God, Cate has had them kissing before the book even starts...or if not, then pretty soon into it. Kissing is nothing for Cate.

It's kind of a crazy way to be...this swinging between ultra-clean and conservative vs wild erotic ramblings. But I don't think it's anything new for me. As a kid, I was often told (yelled at mostly) that I was a "home devil; street angel." I could adapt myself to my surroundings. I don't know how or why I did that, but I think I always have.

At primary school, if I was playing with the girls, I'd be quiet, take my cues from them, do what I was supposed to do. If I was playing sport with the boys, I'd run, yell, say rude words. I'm not sure what my true self is - I think it's somewhere between the two characters.

I had a good mate as a young kid (pre 4th class) who was a boy. We were on a wavelength where we could spend a lot of time together doing our thing (he drew, I read, we talked sport, science, cars and fishing). I think being with him was where I was most myself. I remember the times with him as being quiet, serene and stable but a heck of a lot of fun. We accepted each other as we were, however we were. From 4th class, and onwards, he had to change schools and although we saw each other at various local things, we never spent the time together that we had earlier, to continue our friendship... plus I think strong male-female friendships were actively discouraged.

It's weird to be here on a Thursday night and have not a sexual thought in my head to make a Phallic Friday post. So, this is the clean me...and hopefully she'll get this book finished and get smutty real soon :)

Do you adapt your personalty to suit the people you're with?


  1. Ooh, good question the last question. I'd like to think the answer is: "i don't think so..." I think it might depend who I'm with. Definitely the crew I hang with now, I reckon I'm just me. Take it or leave it. I'm too old for otherwise!

    1. So glad you've found a crew where you can just be you. That's awesome, Miss Lily!

      Cate xo