Sunday Story - writing sex scenes

Team Player's out in a few weeks and Escape Publishing had a snippet the other week (you can read it here), so I thought I'd give you another behind-the-scenes snippet, and a bit of the backstory of how I write...or at least how this scene was written!

I have three characters in this story - Charlie and Lyle are footy players who've been having a secret relationship, and Hannah who's joined them. Hannah and Charlie have a past of friends-with-benefits.

One of Hannah's desires is to see these two men together. Their kissing and touching really turns her on, but she'd like to watch them have anal sex. And by watch, I mean watch, with no participation on her part.


This is an early draft of the scene:

An idea hovers in my mind. Lyle gets off on my dirty talk. I could whisper as he fucks. But I need to watch, without distraction.

Another time.

Charlie’s fingertips are white where they’re pressed into the edges of his buttocks. His cheeks are open as I suspected and his butthole is dusky and puckered, shiny with lube. Lyle blobs on more lube and Charlie shudders. Lyle’s fingers slide along the crack, trailing lube across the skin. One finger circles Charlie’s hole, teasing at the puckered skin, rubbing more lube in, and pressing around the edges of the tight muscle. He’s taking a lot of care to ensure Charlie’s ready. Part of me wants him to be rough and primitive, just press inside until Charlie roars, but I know how it can hurt. Lyle’s care is so much like Lyle, patient and kind. Gentle even if he can hold his own against any man.

All that circling and teasing makes me ache. I wonder how Lyle’s finger would be if it was my cunt he was preparing. Would he spend so much time teasing? Would I be as patient as Charlie, aroused to bursting but not yet begging to be filled? How long would he make me wait before he touched inside me? My vagina clenches just thinking about that, while I watch Charlie’s arse clenching after being drawn slightly open. God, I’m wet. So fucking wet.

I’m panting from all the teasing before, finally, Lyle presses his forefinger against the tight skin. The pressure isn’t strong, but it’s constant. Slowly his finger gains entrance, sliding in slowly to just the first knuckle. He slips his finger in and out, slightly deeper with each movement. The pucker lessens, the muscles relax. Lyle dollops another blob of lube on his middle finger before sliding both fingers in, taking the lube with him.

Fuck. This is hot. Hotter than I expected. Lyle’s cock is right there, bobbing near Charlie’s cheeks as Lyle’s body moves when his arm flexes. If I lean down, I bet I’d see Charlie’s balls held right up against his body and his cock still rigid with need. It’s a wonder he’s able to stand. I hope I’ll be right to stand. I didn’t think of my legs when I walked here without the stool.

Lyle’s fingers come out of Charlie. The arsehole gapes for just a second, and I gasp. Then it seems to wink before closing again. I turn to Lyle, who’s gripping his cock in a tight fist. Neither of us speaks, and Charlie seems limited to a grunt or a groan of need. It’s so silent, I wonder if they’re both holding tight, anticipating. I sure am.

Lyle’s cock, held in his fingers now, is pressed against Charlie’s slick hole. The pucker is back. Charlie’s arse looks almost as tightly closed as before Lyle had lubed him, before he’d held it open with just two fingers. Wondering how long Lyle will press against the fortress, I lean closer.

Lyle bumps my shoulder and mouths, “Ready?”

I have some awesome writing crit buddies who I send work to and they give me some feedback, tips, hates, annoyances, or love. For sex scenes, I have a best mate who also writes, and has a similar background to me. He's the major driver for me writing and publishing and has been my supporter for a very long time. So sex scenes go to him first. Then he emails me back and tells me what shit they are and how I can do so much better! LOL And that makes me go and write it better, because after 20+ years, his criticism doesn't hurt, it's truthful and honest and makes me better (and he never writes what I just wrote, he always softens the blow!).

So, after he read this scene, I get an email that basically says, I want to see Lyle fuck Charlie, get Hannah the fuck out of the way!

I laughed and laughed an laughed. My mate is a heterosexual dominant alpha male (don't tell him I said that!)...but he wanted to see without the filter of the narrator's thoughts, fears, hopes, desires. He didn't want Hannah, he wanted the guys. the guys are having sex, so why the heck did I have Hannah and her thoughts in there????

And this is a really good point. In first person, it's so easy to blurt all about the main POV character and not make them stand back and show you what they see about the other characters.

This is the final draft of that same lead up to that sex. Hopefully I've got Hannah out of the way so the boys shine on the stage.

Charlie’s fingertips are white where they’re pressed into the edges of his buttocks. His cheeks are open as I suspected and his butthole is dusky and puckered, shiny with lube. Lyle blobs on more lube and Charlie shudders. Lyle’s fingers slide along the crack, trailing lube across the skin. One finger circles Charlie’s hole, teasing at the puckered skin, rubbing more lube, and pressing around the edges of the tight muscle. He’s taking a lot of care to ensure Charlie’s ready. Part of me wants him to be rough and primitive, just press inside until Charlie roars, but I know how it can hurt. Lyle’s care is so much like Lyle, patient and kind. Gentle. Even if he can hold his own against any man.

My vagina clenches as I watch Charlie’s arse tighten after being drawn slightly open. God, I’m wet. So fucking wet.

Finally, Lyle presses his forefinger against the tight skin. The pressure doesn’t appear strong, but it’s constant. Slowly his finger gains entrance, sliding in to just the first knuckle. He slips his finger in and out, slightly deeper with each movement. The pucker lessens, the muscles relax. Lyle dollops another blob of lube on his middle finger before sliding both fingers in, taking the lube with him.

Fuck. This is hot. Hotter than I expected. Lyle’s cock is right there, bobbing near Charlie’s cheeks as Lyle moves when his arm flexes. If I lean down, I bet I’d see Charlie’s balls held right up against his body and his cock still rigid with need. It’s a wonder he’s able to stand.

Lyle’s fingers come out of Charlie. The arsehole gapes for just a second, and I gasp. Then it seems to wink before closing. I turn to Lyle, who’s gripping his cock in a tight fist. Neither of us speaks, and Charlie seems limited to only grunts or groans.

Lyle’s cock, held in his fingers now, is pressed against Charlie’s slick hole. The pucker is back. Charlie’s arse looks almost as tightly closed as before Lyle lubed him, before he’d held it open with just two fingers. Wondering how long Lyle will press against the fortress, I lean closer.

Lyle bumps my shoulder and mouths, ‘Ready?’

So...that's a small part of my process in writing sex scenes. Hopefully you think the second version is better than the first! Hopefully I've done an okay job.When I read my story back after a break, I can see the imperfections...but I hope that means I'm improving and that each time I write, the stories are getting better. That's my aim anyway.