Women are often their own worst enemy. My words towards the end of the last post made me run onto this tangent.
"Boys will be boys."
"Some men don't know any better."
"Not all men are like that."
"Don't rock the boat."
"You need to take the higher ground."
"Turn the other cheek."
"Don't be like that, men like to be needed."
"Dress to impress."
"Don't try to be one of the boys; men don't like that."
"You can't be friends with men."
"All men want is sex, not emotion or connection."
OMG, the platitudes. They just start spewing out of me. I've heard all these things a thousand millions times over the years. They've been drummed into my mind from a very young age and so I have to actually push them aside before I find my own voice.
This is what women do. This is how we keep ourselves in a subservient position.
In publishing, look how many stories are written by women, about subservient women. It boggles my mind. I don't like reading them. I know there's the argument that the woman becomes stronger by the end (or she tames the alpha) or whatever tale we want to tell ourselves...but we're perpetuating the 'women are lesser' myth. We. Women. Are doing this to ourselves.
If that's your fantasy - fine. I don't have a problem with it being a sexual fantasy. My problem is that it's a reality for the world. We need to debunk that. We need to change that.
If 80% of stories (this is my guess, which may be somewhat exaggerated) written by women, for women, perpetuate the subservience of women...then can we ever change reality?
If publishers say, "This isn't romance, the woman isn't showing herself as weaker and in need of saving," then we're not helping change the world. We aren't truly reflecting what we want the world to be. We're shoving a stereotype down other women's throats and not letting other fantasies/stories happen.
Can't we have strong women in romance?
Can't we have women who want to have what they want?
Can't we have heroines who save themselves? Heroines who know what they want, and go after that?
Heroines can be strong and still have a hero fall in love with them. Or in my world, they can.
Why are we putting women into subservient roles in so so so many stories??????
Break the damn mould. Let women be strong.
Take a leaf from Wonder Woman; she's strong, powerful, knows what she wants, and is capable of respect and love.
STOP telling each other that we're weaker. STOP telling each other that we're lesser. STOP telling each other we need a man to save us, make us whole.
We need to believe in ourselves. We need to believe in each other. We need to know that we can be loved, strong, and equal.