Married At First Sight week 2 Ep 3

The Dinner Party

Fireworks were promised and happened but let me look at the normal stuff first because the fireworks is a mess in my head.

Monica and Mark are comfortable, funny, relaxed and at ease with each other. They both say they like each other and they're taking it slowly. Which is great. I like their kookiness. But I bet they're a TV producer's nightmare - no drama!

Jess and Dave turned up, aired their views, but there's not a thing happening between them. She's strong though, and maybe stronger from this experience.

Craig and Andy didn't rate a mention, which was a surprise.

Nicole and Keller, and Bella and Michael were the couples in the fireworks. Mostly because the two couples are total and complete opposites. Let me look at Bella and Michael first.

B & M have quite a focus on sex/intimacy, with excessive PDAs even at dinner with others talking, sitting opposite the couple who've broken up. They don't seem aware of others or others' feelings. Bella says she isn't into kids, had no plans for kids, and never saw herself having them because they detract from the sex and intimacy of the couple. Michael doesn't say anything. Which is odd. (Could be editing). Then Bella begins questioning who had sex and when...even with the defunct Jess and Dave there. This is where things get heated because she just doesn't give up, no matter how politely others try to fob her off.

Nicole and Keller. Right before the party, he says he loves Nicole but doesn't know how she feels so he's not saying anything yet. So he's rattled already. Then we hear he's never been to a dinner party before. I'm really worried for him. Nicole seems to laugh when he's a goose, so she's not really helping him learn what she wants. She says he's immature, and indicates that he's not well-informed. He's also a bit of a shit-stirrer. At the dinner, he makes a couple of inappropriate 'jokes' that no one seems to notice (edits maybe). But he says at one stage when Nic jokes about being with Dave, "But then you'd get left on your honeymoon." He seems uncomfortable, out of his depth, and Nicole doesn't seem to notice.

After Jess and Dave talk about their split, Nicole says that maybe Dave should have given it more time because sometimes the "oh wow" doesn't happen right away - and Keller's floored by this. He moves back from the table a little, his expression is shocked and frozen, and he doesn't make any jokes. I don't think he's any clue Nicole wasn't as into him at the get go.

Then Bella talks about kids, and this too upsets Keller's sense of the world, his strong need for family, and he's on the defensive.

When Bella the starts on about sex, Keller and Nicole are both evasive, even saying they like to keep private things private, but the questions keep up and Nicole blurts out that they've had sex, isn't that enough now. No details. It's uncomfortable, and I think Keller wasn't prepared for her to cave. Then he gives this story with lots of detail leading up to sex - which made me wonder if it was true (his odd telling, her strange reaction).

Keller seems to have really defined sense of right/wrong, black/white, public/private. The "experts" comment that he has strong boundaries and that Bella isn't reading these. But I think Nicole has missed these too. I think while Keller and Nicole share similar views about a lot of things, their relationship has gone smoothly. They haven't yet had opposing views, so maybe she hasn't realised how rigid his views are.

Keller makes quite a low shot at Bella, Michael gets defensive and then attacks Keller (his verbal attack is as nasty, if not more personal, that Keller's). Meanwhile, Nicole has up and gone. She's uncomfortable so she's run, leaving Keller defenceless and unsupported, which I can't imagine is good for him.

At the end of the night, Keller apologises to the men for his behaviour and Michael accepts it well. I think it took a big man to make that heartfelt apology, so my hat was off to Keller. Not sure if his apology went to the girls too as they'd split into groups then.

So my learning from tonight was CONSERVATIVE vs LIBERAL. It's probably not going to work if you mash two very different people together - eg Keller and Bella would never work. And friendships get strained when you have this mix of couples too. So a character's attitudes to society are quite important, and pairing too many opposing views won't ever work.

On this show, Keller is a fascinating person. I wondered earlier about his tattoos and why he had them if he was so conscious of people's negative reaction to him because of them. Then when you see him in shorts, the Tatts are really only in places where they're visible (hands, forearms, calves, neck, upper chest, shoulders). It makes me wonder why you get them in confronting places, if you're concerned by people's reactions. Is it the shit stirring part of him? Is it cover up? 

Tonight he showed very conservative views about family, sex, relationships, careers, even some homophobia (or at least anti-metrosexual). Maybe this is a product of years in the defence forces, or maybe it's him, but it's intriguing. He's the most fascinating person on the show...but I also worry about him being exposed like this on a national TV program when he seems vulnerable.

I think tonight I realised I need more depth to my characters, more layers of issues and confusion. Plus I need to think about their societal views and how that might work with their relationships and friendships.

Married At First Sight Week 2 Ep 2

Tonight we saw 2 couples call it quits - Jess and Dave, along with Craig and Andy. And we saw one couple declare their love - Bella and Michael.

So I wanted to think about the contrast between Craig and Andy (who split) and Bella and Michael (declaring love). Craig is demonstrative and an all-in type of guy. He wanted affection, touches, kisses, and displays of love. Andy's slow and reserved, so this pairing didn't get off the ground because of the difference in expectations, largely. (I'm sure there was more - possibly lack of mutual attraction as with Jess & Dave).

Bella and Michael are both like Craig. They're both touchy, demonstrative people who have gone all-in very quickly. Their relationship has worked, to date, because they're both moving at a suitable speed, with signs they both understand. They've found a lot in common, and seem to be quite open in their affections (Bella even saying they'd christened rooms).

But how does this sort of a relationship work when they get to a point where signs aren't clear to one;  or the speed changes? Tonight Michael had old photos out and Bella got prickly when there were photos of old girlfriends. She walked away. And the discussion of Michael's child was quite brief (which may be editing) and this hasn't been brought up again (may be editing), not even when looking at photos. These couple of things make me look at how relationships get deeper, and it seems to all rely on communication - and if you aren't communicating in the same way, or a way that each understands, then the relationship seems doomed.

Jess and Dave were doomed. Right at the start, he wasn't physically attracted to her and although he said he wasn't sure that was important and he thought things might develop, he was kidding himself. When there was no instant chemistry, he turned off. He wasn't interested in anything that wasn't insta-love. Which is interesting for a writer...because that 'chemistry' at meeting seems to be almost a necessity for putting an effort to get to know the person deeper.

Bella and Michael had an instant chemistry that they've taken to love with their fast paced relationship.

Craig was instantly attracted to Andy and then was bitter when his affection wasn't returned.

Keller was instantly attracted to Nicole, and she was won over very quickly by his caring vows.

Monica and Mark both saw each other as hot.

A lot to be said for instant attraction or chemistry or just being 'into' someone.

Married At First Sight week 2 ep 1

I know, I wasn't going to post until 3 shows were done... but... I need to vent.

Craig and Andy.
OMG. These two are the strangest pair. Craig is all lovey-dovey, and Andy is most reserved. This wouldn't matter so much if they could communicate, but they can't communicate. So there's no middle ground because there's no talking. No talking means neither knows what the other wants/needs.

Craig's gone off in a huff...but I suspect it's a beat up for the show. Could be wrong though!

Jess and Dave.
This pair are the definition of awkward. She's trying so hard, and he doesn't seem to give a damn. Last night was the honeymoon and he's there in a shirt that has to be a relic at best (faded, one pocket ripped off, almost a rag). Now, I own shirts like this. I hang around in them at home. I did not take them on my honeymoon, I don't wear them down the street. Why? Because Mum drilled in to me that you have to 'show you care' by wearing something decent, going that extra mile. Maybe it's a girl-thing, or else Dave's mother never fed him those lines.

Then they went for a swim. Jess isn't petite and she's wearing a bikini which she isn't overly keen about. She's straight-froward, straight-talking, so she tells him it's a big deal for her to show her body off in public. And he, bloody hell, he goes, (not word for word because I was too stunned to write to down), Get over yourself. I was 130 kg and now I'm 98 kg. You just gotta accept who you are. How's that help her? How's that show any emotion connection or understanding?

Then he 'forgets' about her when they're learning to surf. Then he sits watching cricket and when she tries to engage with him by asking questions about the cricket, he's virtually monosyllabic in his responses. Then she tries to have a chat about how she's feeling and he goes, "Yeah. Yeah."

Maybe this is edited to make him look bad and then they'll have a 'surprise reunion' and be all pally...or maybe it's real. But this is the stuff that makes me look at romance writing and learn for my writing.

In a romance novel, the guy would be emotionally connected, and he'd talk back. He'd understand the girl - or at least try to. In romance, we have the people talking so that they can understand each other and begin to connect - especially those who find no immediate attraction.

In real life, I'm not so sure this happens. All these couples are so far awkward, or superficially bonding. Talking and creating a connection takes time. Sometimes in romance we gloss over this. We have them together and chatting and connecting quickly - because that's what we're reading for. We don't read romance to feel the awkwardness of real life, or at least most readers don't!

So that's what I learned last night.

Married At First Sight - last of the weddings

This is the last of the show for this week - but with 3 episodes next week, I might save my notes for the third show and write 1 post. Trailers indicate lots of failures early on, so interesting times ahead.

So, from tonight's episode:

Craig & Andy got married. They were polite on meeting, but there seemed to be a good sense of fun. Their celebrant was quite intrusive and that caused them to bond. They have quite a relaxed manner with each other. Early on Craig was quite gushy and really into Andy, who was more reticent, but I think the photos changed this reticence. Andy's afraid of heights and they had a helicopter flight, which allowed Craig to hold Andy's hand and 'protect' him. It seemed to flip the roles and make both settle better.

But then at the reception, Craig introduced Andy to one of his guests - his ex, after a 13 year long relationship. It didn't go down well. In the end a straight talking female friend got Andy to see this from a different view, but I think Andy will have trust issues.

Craig's quite showy, Andy reticent, so I wonder how that will go.

Bella & Michael we didn't see a lot of tonight and maybe because they were still all over each other. By the end of the evening, he still hadn't mentioned his child, so that makes me wonder how that conversation will go. He's very emotional and quite into talking about his feelings, hopes and dreams (or maybe it's just these speeches).

These two are like the fairy tale wedding and I wonder if that will last. Will they get past the 'dreamy' first impressions to find the person beneath, and will they like that person too?

I'd love to see insta-love work, but... I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Jess and Dave were so very awkward together in the 'ceremony' and during the photos. It was really difficult to watch because they made little attempt to help each other, and neither seemed to know what to do. After the photos they sat together for a bit and talked and they began to relax slightly. They seem to share a similar sense of humour, but there's so much reserve beneath the goofy fun. I don't know if they'll get past the surface and like the depths.

There was quite a lot of relaxed family/friend interaction at the reception, which didn't seem as obvious in other events, so that may indicate that there are a lot of similarities.

Jess seems to be the driver though. He says he's into her and pleased, and he does initiate a few kisses and touches, but on the whole, she leads, she holds him, she moves in on him, she asks the questions. And they have very little real eye contact. There's so much holding back.



The shows are edited, and I wonder if they're edited in such a way to put you off working things out. So that ruins some of my fun... but anyway, to me, it seemed like the first two couples, Keller & Nicole, and Monica & Mark, were more down to earth (or maybe it's less showy) than the next three. But it's the magic of TV, it could be anything!!

I'll await next week's shows and see who sticks out the honeymoon. The shorts seemed to indicate two split before the honeymoon is over and if I had to pick (which is really difficult) I'd guess Jess and Dave because they seem so distant already. It could be any of the others - Bella has to accept the child Michael has (if he tells her). I'm not sure how Andy and Craig will go with their trust issues. Keller and Nicole have his tattoos and his leaving the Navy to work around.

I'll say that it won't be Monica and Mark because I think they have enough in common and few issues, so they should be able to get through for a bit.Let's see :)